notanotherphony.

i’m not sure where to start or even how to start so i am just going to start writing. start talking. i’m almost fifty-seven years old. poor. no assets aside from a beautiful daughter and a beautiful wife who has caused me both elation and frustration over the more than twenty years that i have known her. it’s a testament to our love and our humanity that we are still together. most people would have bailed long ago but we both know that “bailing” not only hurts each other but it also causes unnecessary stress and trauma on our kids. not exactly the same as having your mom or dad die but it is not so different. one day you have two parents and the next day you have one. kids are resilient but they are not without emotions. not without feelings. not without love.

my dad died, suddenly, one night when i was ten. he was thirty-six. he collapsed on the gym floor at a public school in north york while coaching a soccer team filled with seven year olds. my brother was on the team but he didn’t go to that particular practice as he had a birthday party to go to. i normally went and helped out but because my brother didn’t go my dad didn’t want to come all the way home to unionville to pick me up. he went straight to the gym after work. we never saw him again. he died from a brain hemorrhage.

february 17, 1978.

divorce.

death.

kids left behind.

the trauma that many kids experience is sad and upsetting.

but as many people tell you.

as many people tell us.

LIFE GOES ON.

i have lots of passions. lots of interests. lots of talents. i, sometimes, struggle to find the one that interests me the most. i, often, struggle to find the one that interests me the most.

BUT I THINK I HAVE FOUND IT.

that is to make people feel good about themselves. inspire people that need inspiration. listen to people. have deep conversations about life with people. have conversations that most people never have. i don’t have all the answers but i can, certainly, listen to people talk. really listen. really be present. really care.

THAT IS MY PURPOSE.

talk to people and talk deeply and lovingly.

LIFE CHATS.

LIFE TALKS.

REAL TALKS.

REAL PEOPLE.

REAL EMOTIONS.

tell my story.

tell my full story.

once i have told my full story i can begin to help others through deep listening and deep connection.

KEEP DOING DAILY WORK.

KEEP MEDITATING.

KEEP READING.

KEEP WRITING.

KEEP CONNECTING.

LOVE AND LISTEN.

LISTEN AND LOVE.

open up and talk.

relax.

feel love.

feel.

breathe in.

breathe out.

deep calm.

deep listening.

lead with love.

curious christy.

don’t settle for less than human.

be a good human being.

connect and inspire.

inspire and connect.

listen to my body.

body and mind connection.

CONNECT AND LISTEN.

DEEP LISTENING.

make films.

who can we make films with?

COME TOGETHER.

INSPIRE EACH OTHER.

DO NOT FOLLOW THE RULES.

THEIR RULES THAT LEAD TO DEPRESSION AND DESPAIR.

LACK OF HUMANITY AND LACK OF LOVE.

FREEDOM.

REAL FREEDOM TO BE ME.

REAL JOY.

REAL FREEDOM.

what is our culture?

where is our culture?

what are we known for?

where is the common sense?

the common decency?

where is the love and compassion?

why do so many people follow a system that leads to stress and misery?

marriage?

politics?

home owning?

stocks?

wars?

WARS ARE REWARDED!!!

sick people in charge.

PROPAGANDA MACHINE EVERYWHERE!!!

where is love for humanity?

trudeau giving ukraine another billion dollars while our country is in severe debt and is going through what is, seemingly, a big recession.

skyrocketing gas prices.

skyrocketing food prices.

unaffordable housing.

low wages.

struggling families.

an almost non existent mental health accessibility unless you have money.

healthcare costs rising (FORD).

so many issues in this country and inflation is already so high and trudeau decides to send another billion dollars to ukraine (he already sent a billion last year).

two billion dollars to help another country (what does this money pay for?) while many here in canada struggle to pay bills, buy groceries, pay rent, etc etc etc.

i am all for human lives and helping everyone but i always think that you should take care of your own backyard first. and if there was two billion dollars to spare why are we mired in debt and paying for it with high taxes and such a high cost of living?

something always seems sketchy when it comes to our government. does trudeau know where his (our) two billion dollars is going? do other countries help and send money as much as we do? i am fed up with trudeau but i despise poillievre as well.

just another lying snake.

when will a new and intelligent honest leader step forth? ever? never? ever?

i would vote for poillievre if he would just keep his mouth shut and create a better economy. no that is a lie. i simply don’t trust anything he says.

I NEED MORE MONEY AND LESS TALKING HEADS.

shoulders still sore.

knee feeling a little better. less swollen.

i want to run.

i need to run.

i am bored.

it’s amazing to me that with so much talent there are so few movies or shows that are watchable.

same old actors.

same old directors.

same old showrunners.

it is soooooooooo dull and, yet, there is an industry filled with this.

CREATE WORK THAT MATTERS.

create work that i am proud of.

i feel tired.

always feel tired.

is it my job?

am i sick?

am i bored?

am i old?

i am still waiting for life to affect me instead of affecting life.

eyes and head are sore today.

need money to live in this society of extreme capitalism.

overtaxed.

underperforming politicians.

we allow our leaders to ruin our world and we sit back and accept it.

then the ones who fight back are the ones who like trump and poillievre and who are the leaders of the load and proud conspiracy theories. no thoughts of their own.

SHEEP OF THE WORST KIND.

where is the middle ground of responsible people voting for a responsible leader?

are there responsible leaders?

REMOVE TOXIC PEOPLE FROM MY LIFE.

NO MORE BORING STORYTELLERS RUINING MY DAY.

I AM A STORYTELLER.

I NNEED TO TELL STORIES!!!