soccer balls.

woke up.  walked.  puked.  walked some more.  where am I?  smelly drunk to the right of me.  fat bastard with no teeth to the left of me.  one big hairy pretty girl stuck on the side table.  no hair.  i continued to walk.  continued to puke.  sirens blaring.  raining outside.  thunder trying to drown out the sirens.  i have white bloodstained underwear on.  white underwear now red.  i walked.  i walked.  i walked.  not knowing where I was going.  knocking at the front door.  front door of what I do not know.  everybody dead or sleeping.  rats in the stairwell.  screeching.  i looked as I walked but could not find the rest of my clothes.  knocking at the front door becoming louder and louder.  “LET ME IN.  LET ME IN.  LET ME IN.”  i was scared.  hungover.  should i answer the door?  NO.  I hid behind the pink chair with piss on it.  smells making me want to puke again.  all of a sudden machine guns BLASTING.  SIRENS CONTINUING.  rain pounding.  “HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!”  no one answering my calls.  I went back upstairs and tried to wake up the hairy girl.  no luck.  the drunk.  no luck.  the fat bastard with no teeth.  no luck.  luck running out.  is this it?  is this how life ends?  “MOM…DAD…ARE YOU OUT THERE???”  calls going unanswered.  i trip.  nails dig deep into my non hairy leg.  right leg.  more blood.  piss.  puke.  rats.  the old lady next door falls through the door.  bullet holes right through her black dress.  she lies naked in front of me.  tears flowing down her lonely eyes.  “hello?  is anyone out there?  i want to get laid?  i want to get laid pretty girl…come to Tony…come to Sal…cum…cum…cum…”  “get out of that sauna son or you will get burnt!!!  DON’T YOU KNOW SAUNAS HAVE PERVERTS IN THEM???”  “i thought that was steam rooms mr. jilkens.”  “SHUT UP AND BEND OVER.  I WANT TO PENETRATE YOUR SHIT STAINED BUM.”  “okay sir…if you insist.  but don’t tell my soccer coach because he will throw soccer balls at my penis and i don’t like when he does that.”  “okay little boy.  anything you say.  i respect you.  i love you.   shhhhhhhh….keep quiet and always smile.”
  “okay.”
  at that point jesus looked at me and asked if i had any weed to sell.  i said “no.”