sitting naked in a pile of puke.

Jack Tait sits naked in a pile of puke with white slimy worms coming out of his bum.  his last recollection was fucking the two hundred pound black woman that he met at Denny’s.  he doesn’t know where he is nor how he got there.  he also doesn’t know what happened to his clothes.  he only wanted to get laid and now he sits in shame.  Jack Tait is a Mormon.  He once stole a chocolate bar from Hasty Market but then he decided to change.  his parents wouldn’t help him as they wanted him to be a doctor or a lawyer.  they put their pride in front of Jack’s dreams and thus Jack became a raving sex addict filled with anger and booze issues.  Jack would not seek shelter for shelter would not make him smile.  nor would it make him cry.
  Jack Tait has no friends.  he has no enemies.  he has no pets.  he has no girlfriend.  he has no boyfriend.  he has fucked over one hundred and fifty women but only knows the name of five of them.  he has blown his load one thousand two hundred and eighty-five times.  most have been flushed down a toilet.  he has made girls cum.  but he is not sure how many because he is selfish.  he has worn a condom five times in his life but he has broken three of them.  Jack Tait is lonely and ashamed.  he is also naked and has worms coming out of his bum.
  Jack gets up but is not quite sure what to do.  his nose is now bleeding.  he looks around and sees animals.  dogs.  cats.  snakes.  “WHERE THE FUCK AM I???”  he begins to walk and now needs to take a shit.  he finds a small blue car and squats beside it.  he hears The Eurythmics playing and thinks back to his high school years.  a big smile comes across Jack’s face as he squeezes out a sloppy yellowy brown shit.  worms all over it.  now flies attack.  Jack continues to walk nakedly down the barren street.  he hears Mexican voices and Mexican accents.  he pauses.  he looks.  he pauses some more and runs.  he runs and runs.  dogs start chasing him.  rabid Mexican dirty dogs.  he hears gun shots.  then he hears The Macarena.  he quickly looks behind him and sees three hundred Mexican men running at him with thirty-eight rabid dogs.  Jack is sweating.  he turns down a side street and hopes that the herd of people and dogs will pass.  they don’t.  they turn as well so Jack starts running again.  he runs over spiders and lizards and just wants to be back at the mental asylum but he forgets where it is.
  Jack Tait continues to run.  he hears a loud dumb asshole talking and wants to bash his brains in but decides that killing is wrong so he doesn’t.  he runs.  he eventually gets away from the herd and now sits down.  thirsty.  needs a drink.  needs clothes.  needs a woman.  needs to get better.  Jack pulls out his eight inch penis and strokes it until it becomes twelve inches.  he hears loud shitty music coming from somewhere and remembers back to when he was semi-normal and living in a condo in Toronto where every asshole played their shitty music loudly and didn’t give a fuck about anyone.  Jack wants to go back with a baseball bat and smash their brains in as well but he starts crying instead.  he wants a hug from his Mom but she is afraid to hug.  so he continues to cry.  one worm falls out of his bum and looks at him.  Jack smiles.  his dick has shrunk.  he starts walking again and notices a police car up ahead.  Jack walks up to the police car…naked…bleeding nose…worms still periodically coming out of his bum.  he smiles at the officer.  the officer smiles back and then begins to club Jack with an eight iron.  “I DIDN’T KNOW THEY GOLFED IN MEXICO???”  Jack screams and screams and screams but there is no one around to answer his calls.  the mob that he eluded earlier,  reappear and start singing Roxanne by The Police.  the policeman continues to smash his eight iron against Jack’s naked body.  Jack begins to laugh but the harder he laughs the harder he gets hit.  blood has splattered everywhere.  the rabid dogs have now appeared and they are hungry.  they attack Jack.  the cop attacks Jack.  worms attack Jack.  “Roxanne…you don’t have to put on the red light.”  Jack likes this song.  he smiles.  he is now red.  almost dead.  all he wants is one last cerveza.  SMASH.  SMASH.  SMASH.  “I HATE FUCKING DOGS!!!”
  the policeman leaves.  the group of people singing Roxanne leave.  the dogs leave.  Jack Tait is now alone again.  sad.  bloodied.  thirsty.  horny.  sweaty.  dirty.  naked.  he sits and ponders while naked and covered in blood.  “i don’t want to die.  i hope i never die.  life is so much fun.  i want to fuck.  i want to get drunk.  i want to swim.  i want to run.  i want to laugh.  i want to laugh.  i want to laugh.  I WANT TO LAUGH.  I WANT TO LAUGH.  I WANT TO LAUGH.”  Jack cries and falls asleep.  naked.