Jack Tait has jury duty.

Jack Tait’s one ball is beginning to hurt more and more.  the more he jerks off the more pain he is in.  torture once again.  what to do?  what to do?  what to do?  poor old Jack Tait wants to eat mushrooms and drink sixty pounders of Jack all day long but today he has to go to jury duty.  he hates the court system.  he hates people.  he hates rules but THEY finally tracked him down. the boring peasants who run the world tracked poor old Jack down and told him that they would torture him by getting rid of all his stuffed animals if he didn’t do his duty and go to jury duty to put some asshole in jail whose duty it was to kill fourteen Mennonites for the Mexican Cartel.  LIFE SUCKS.  Jack puts on his best pair of underwear and walks out the door.  he refuses to wear a shirt.  he refuses to wear a tie.  he carries a bat for protection but knows that he is doomed.  “THE PEASANTS ALWAYS WIN.  THE WORLD IS RIGGED.  THE WORLD IS FUCKED.  THE WORLD IS SICK.  THE WORLD IS CONTROLLED BY MAGGOTS AND WORMS WHO WERE BORN INTO THIS LIFE FROM THE PUSSIES OF MORE PEASANTS AND MAGGOTS!!!”
  Jack Tait hops on his blue tricycle and slowly and hungoverly rides down his long driveway.  he looks around and sees nothing.  his eyes are blurry from the night before.  too much booze.  too much sex.  too much food.  Jack lives in excess.  the world lives in incest.  Jack Tait refuses to do yoga but knows that his anger will ineveitably fail him and he will die.  Jack Tait has a strong mind but a weak body.  shrivelled up and beaten down.  Jack Tait refuses to quit.  he looks up at the sun and realizes he is going to be late.  he is sweating.  he is nervous.  his mind wanders.  his heart races.  Jack pulls off to the side of the road and begins smashing the motorbike of some asshole that revs it too loud too often.  a small penised man that needs a bike to show his manhood.  Jack smashes and smashes and smashes some more.  the small penised man comes out of the shitty starbuck’s with his slutty fuck buddy and begins to scream, “that’s my bike asshole.  that’s my fucking bike!!!”  Jack Tait takes one look at this small penised man and laughs…and laughs.  and laughs some more.  the slutty fuck buddy starts mouthing Jack off as most slutty fuck buddies do and Jack laughs at her too.  “YOU CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER.  YOU ONE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER.  I KILL YOU.  I KILL YOU!!!”  the small penised man yells at Jack.  Jack continues laughing as he begins to stroke his large shrivelled up penis.  he asks the girl to bend over and she yells, “FUCK OFF!!!”  Jack laughs and then blows his load in his right hand.  he laughs once more and then smears it all over small penised man’s smashed up motorbike.  “have a great day small penised man and slutty fuck buddy.  see you around.  I am in a rush.  I have jury duty.”
  Jack hops on his blue tricycle and pedals away.  Jack is now going to be late.