NOT THIS TIME GOD.

Jack Tait looked in the mirror and saw “age”.  wrinkles and tired eyes.  grey hair and sagging skin.  he knew that life was winding down but he also knew that there was still life left to live.  it got harder for him to wake up everyday.  aches and pains.  stuffy nose and foggy brain.  Jack Tait is a tortured man wanting to live his life his way but being confined to a life lived in confinement.  dumb rules by dumb people meant to keep the intelligent and passionate in a jail of torture while the rich and dull take over the world.  the “evil ones” never had a chance to give their versions of their stories.  conveniently these “evil ones” disappear into a bath of bullets and buried underground…way underground.
Jack Tait knew all of this yet he was a lone wolf in a lonely world.  he set goals for himself but the goals never satisfied him long enough to succeed.  a topsy turvy bundle of energy and horniness all bottled up in a body of aches and pains.  headaches and neck strains.
Jack looked at his old calendar and it said 1998.  it was now 2015.  his wife getting older.  his daughter getting older.  his mother getting older.  his brother getting older.  everyone getting older…and older…and older.
Jack Tait looked outside.  it was grey and cold with periodic bouts of snow.  he wanted to ride his tricycle and get some exercise but he knew that the last time he rode his tricycle he fell off and broke his wrist.  he also chipped his front tooth.  fears.  anxieties.  songs and noises from above.  he fought through his torment and walked outside.  he decided that his only hope was to walk to the North Pole naked and alone.  he then thought that his only hope was to cuddle with his beautiful wife.  beautiful daughter.  torment once again.  Jack walked in guilt and shame but he walked nonetheless.  he was setting out on his journey of life.  his journey of self-fulfillment.  he wanted to write his own story on life.  he didn’t trust all the useless books in libraries and Chapters.  he found them dull and average.  written by rich pigs with zero heart.  zero soul.  tummy tucks.  tit enhancements.  lip enhancements and fur coats.
Jack Tait walked north into the wind.  into the snow.  the snow blowing his red face.  his red beard.  naked and alone Jack Tait knew that he was making the right decision even though the right decision involved shame and fears.  feelings passed down from the lord above before he was discovered as a fraud just like the rest of society.
Jack made it through his first day without love.  without food.  without clothes.  his second day was a little tougher.  chased by coyotes and old ladies with bibles Jack Tait sprained his right ankle and needed a day off.  he found a little hole in a little farm and put his head down for one minute.  ten hours later he woke up at home.  “what happened?”  Jack thought as he looked outside and saw half built houses and half built lives.  he saw his dog sleeping on his bed.  he also saw his coffee cup beside his bottle of Jack and bottle of pills.  he then pulled out an old family album filled with childhood memories and childhood friends.  family smiles and family get together’s.  A big family becoming smaller halfway through the album.  a male presence down by one.  Jack’s Dad was his hero.  Jack’s Dad was his Mom’s hero too.  a man filled with flaws.  but a man filled with a huge heart and an even bigger soul.  a man that didn’t abide by the rules but still managed to be loved.  Jack Tait flipped one more page and saw a baby picture of his daughter.  his beautiful daughter being held by her beautiful Mommy.  Jack Tait stopped and stared.  he did not blink.  nor did he sneeze.  stillness at last in a world filled with chaos.  no sound.  no noise.  no movement.  no thoughts racing through his busy brain.  utter stillness and utter love.  one tear two.  two tears three.  three tears four.  four tears five and on and on it went.  tears of sorrow filled with tears of love and tears of loss.  A life lived but not lived enough.  Jack Tait decided he did not need to travel to the North Pole.  He needed love.  he needed hugs.  he needed stillness and he needed FAMILY.  The definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results.  NOT THIS TIME GOD.  YOU WILLL NOT FOOL ME THIS TIME.