one day he will not make it out alive.

Jack Tait woke up and stared at the dirty white ceiling above.  he was hot.  he was sweaty.  his head was pounding from the night before but it was well worth it.  fun takes it toll on poor old Jack Tait but he wouldn’t have it any other way.  “three day hangovers are better than none at all.”
the night started out like any other alcohol fuelled night.  a pint of beer with a buddy.  then another one.  they were sitting on a patio in a big city somewhere in Canada but Jack Tait doesn’t remember the name.  nor does he care.  he was naked.  he was hot.  sun beaming down on his bald head.  after two beers the pair left to go to another bar.  girls everywhere.  pretty girls.  young girls.  old girls.  less than pretty girls (all girls are pretty) and even heavier girls that were still attractive to Jack Tait.
Jack and his nameless buddy arrived at the next bar.  patio busy.  more girls.  a few guys but Jack Tait never really noticed them.  the pair ordered some beers and looked around.  A pretty blonde girl was sitting by herself with two pints of beer in front of her face.  she smiled.  Jack Tait smiled back.
“Did you guys want to sit here until my friend comes?”  she asked Jack and his friend.
“Are you waiting for your boyfriend?”  asked Jack.
the girl smiled and said, “No.  Just a friend.”
Jack immediately sat down while his friend continued to stand.
good conversation ensued.  not your typical bullshit conversation filled with “what do you do?”  and “where do you live?”  real conversation filled with real emotions.  talks of abuse turning to talks of love which then turned to talks of life.  Jack Tait was a man filled with love but buried underneath a wall of shame.  the pretty blonde girl was filled with lots of love buried underneath lots of pain.  two hours later Jack Tait and his buddy had to leave.  onto the next stop.  another stop filled with booze.  filled with pretty girls.  filled with irrelevant guys trying to be relevant.  the pretty blonde girl’s friend never arriving.
Jack Tait and his nameless buddy hit six different drinking holes in six hours.  they spoke with many women.  mostly pretty.  mostly fun.  mostly intelligent.  life showing it’s great side for once.  Jack Tait had not had an epic night like this since he was thirty-six years old and made love to his future twenty-one year old wife for sixteen hours over a forty-eight hour period.  “I still got it,”  Jack said as he drunkenly stumbled to the Chinese Restaurant at three am.  solo.  his nameless buddy long gone.  his mind long gone as well.  the Chinese Restaurant was blurry as usual.  it always is for Jack Tait.  always is and always was.  a life filled with contradictions and shame and happiness and pain.  intense love trickling through his rough exterior once a year.
Jack Tait woke up on the alleyway behind the Chinese Restaurant at seven am.  he was tired.  he was lonely.  he was sad.  he was thirsty.  even pasty.  he still had no clothes.  he still had no Dad.  he slowly got to his feet and walked away from where it all ended last night.  he walked down dirty streets filled with dirty people and made it out of the city alive once again.  one day he will not make it out alive and he will be buried underground like the rest of the lonely poor souls who have died over the last one hundred years.  men and women who were once vibrant young boys and girls filled with hopes and filled with dreams.  boys and girls who once had their first kiss and first goal and first fuck and first black eye and first clogged toilet.  boys and girls who were filled with laughter and filled with big smiles and even bigger hearts now buried underground forgotten and alone.  life moving on as quickly as it ends.  the world becoming smaller but much bigger at the same time.  human connection becoming extinct the way dinosaurs have become extinct.  love becoming harder and harder to find and love being lost in “swipe rights” and “swipe lefts”.  a world with filled so much potential but being destroyed by old rich white guys in phony suits with big white fake smiles.  a sad world with occasional happiness. 
Jack Tait walked nakedly out of the city.  alone and forgotten.  he looked back hoping to see his Dad once last time.  he saw nothing.