bye.

trying to slow life down as it continues to move by quicker and quicker.  reading.  writing.  acting.  running.  cycling.  but not loving enough.  thinking that I am not a slave to our corporate culture but realizing that I am.  just not as much as others.  but a slave nonetheless.  focus.  focus.  focus.  but always lost in thought and never lost in love.  how does one connect with love?  connect with life?  connect with nature?  connect without thoughts of the future nor thoughts of the past.  living in the moment the key but living in the moment in our society of distraction is very difficult.  a week of cottage life over and now back to an empty house with an empty heart.  seemingly depressed again but am I ever not depressed?  a life filled with amazing people and amazing triumphs but constantly mired in deep thoughts of loss and worry.  worries about Rylee growing up and not giving her the tools needed to live in this world.  disconnected but filled with a huge heart that seems to be constantly searching and constantly moving but never still enough to take it all in.  take in all of life’s beauty and life’s treasures.  instead of taking in the beauty getting caught up in the never ending shit storm that is Donald Trump.  an egotistical man filled with an ugly heart and a shallow soul.  the worst that man has to offer and yet “we” are supposed to look up to our elders and look up to our world leaders.  not realizing that the world leaders past and present have taken this beautiful world and attempted to ruin it with constant greed and constant wars.  sickening individuals with sickening souls that get revered by society while offering up nothing of value.  nothing of substance.
back to ME.  my journey.  getting caught up in the shit again.  stop.  slow down.  breathe.  love.  see.  feel.  touch.  hug.  hold.  kiss.  group hugs.  group love.  feelings much more important than thoughts.  feel more.  think less.
are we all just lonely people walking aimlessly around a lonely world?
the daily struggle continues.
see the beauty.
feel the beauty.
take it in. 
TAKE IT IN.
REALLY TAKE IT IN.
listen to good music.
read good books.
breathe.
hold.
communicate.
love.
love.
love.
before it is too late…LOVE.
stillness.
feel.
beauty.
slow down.
cry.
child.
lost.
sad.
love.
Dad?
Daddy?
bye.