and another day of driving into the city from a town one and half hours north of the city. a small town filled with big trucks and small dicks. they usually go hand in hand. the drive was forgetful. I was dizzy. dizzy on too many meds and not enough sleep. a lethal combination but I never learn. the ride down was filled with it’s usual boredom mixed in, periodically, with crazed speed demons racing to their shitty jobs with shitty pay. jobs where the boss bosses them around and alarms go off for breaks and the entrance to the job has a clock that you have to swipe a card to show that you have arrived and at what time. jobs that kill you slowly and are filled with sad pathetic people who watch sad pathetic tv and sit in sad pathetic arenas filled with insane adults screaming profanities at their eight year old kids playing hockey.
I arrived at my appointment fractured but still living. yoga helping immensely. helping with my anxiety. helping with my wandering mind. helping with my bound up body. I arrived and pulled out the shoes. the two buyers arrived and we spoke. we first exchanged handshakes and smiles. the buyers both from latin American countries and therefore filled with hearts and souls. a refreshing quality in a sad and sick society. immigrants usually offering up more to our country than our dull natives. natives who shop at Walmart and watch kardashians and post doggie pics on facebook. natives who have not read a book since high school except maybe Fifty Shades of Grey. a book that is just below playboy when it comes to it’s content. it’s intellect. who reads such shit? why is our society filled with such dullness? a never ending chase to accumulate things and dull things and disposable things. a chase that ends up in the grave filled with regrets and lost dreams. a grave dug by an old sad man who one day will be underground like the many others before him. lives filled with nothingness. meaningless lives filled with meaningless thoughts. thoughts about shitty politicians and shitty taxes and shitty cars and shitty houses. another year older and another year closer to death. sad becoming sadder. no hope. no dreams. no love. no heart. no soul. rule followers that follow rules made up by old dried out rich white men with shrivelled up penises and big ears. men who once ruled women. ruled men. now washed up and close to death. “do they ever look back in regret? guilt? sadness?” old rich white men who have brought nothing to the world except fake money and fake businesses. nothing of substance. nothing of importance. artists always more important than these maggots but the societal sheep follow the maggots hoping for crumbs that will set them free. crumbs that will set them free while they listen to Taylor Swift and watch The Bachelor. wanting change but never changing themselves. sad lives. everywhere…sad lives. where are the crazy ones? I need more crazy ones in my life. the crazy ones are the inspiring ones. the crazy ones are the ones that bring about change. they challenge the status quo while the sheep shop in Walmart and eat at Mcdonald’s. a very sad and sick society becoming more sad. more sick.
the two buyers filled with passion. fire. hopes. dreams. brains. inspiring. very inspiring. one male. one female. leaving their countries for a better life but realizing that our life in north America is a sick life. the same corrupt politicians that they left in their native countries are here. just in different clothing and with different hair. political corruption running rampant but, as always, bringing nothing of value to the table. similar to shitty movies and shitty music. the world is filled with shitty businesses making a shitload of money but offering up nothing but shit. sad. lost. why? always why?
I love human beings. human beings with a heart. a soul. a voice. an opinion. I want to meet human beings from all over the world. human beings that I have more in common with than the average north American. the average north American…why does this computer auto correct American and put it into capitals? I don’t want it to be in capitals!!! FUCKING BULLSHIT. FUCKING SYSTEM.
art. love. soul. listen. love. I love human beings with a heart. a soul. a fire. a voice. love. love. love.
I HATE BOREDOM.
I HATE DULL.
I HATE RULE FOLLOWERS.
FOLLOWING DUMB RULES MADE UP BY OLD RICH WHITE DULL MEN.
DULL.
DEAD.
SAD.
LIFE.
LOVE.
notanotherphony. 