life. so beautiful and yet so painful. love. hate. years whizzing by and leaving sad memories behind…somewhat. some things you never forget. dad dying. sexually molested. jail cells. alcohol centres. fights. fucks. losses. wins. mom overdosing. nana dying. friends dying. many deaths but so many births too. the birth of my daughter being the highlight of my life. but the highlight sometimes isn’t easy. I sit alone drinking a glass (bottle) of wine after kissing my thirteen year old daughter goodnight. THIRTEEN. THIRTEEN. THIRTEEN. WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE? where are the memories gone? where are they stored? old pictures bringing me to tears. tears of joy. tears of love. tears of loss. lost time and lost connection. always love but sometimes not showing it enough. my daughter is such a beautiful soul. beautiful spirit. beautiful person inside and out and I don’t think she knows that I think that and this hurts me. hurts her. life getting in the way of love. chaos. fast mind. fast cars. fast life. fast judgements. fast reactions. slow down. listen to the pulse. listen to the music. listen to the sounds of whistling birds and whistling leaves. don’t listen to the political chatter. don’t listen to the experts. the experts rarely are right. right. wrong. what does it all mean?
i’m sorry. i’m sorry. I miss you dad. friends? so many and yet so few. so many connections and so few get together’s. protecting. protection. help? helping. not fair. just be. live. love. laugh. connect. do. inspire. create. passions. art. love. loss. feb. 17, 1978. I will never forget. so many years ago. so many painful deaths following the death of my dad. life not always fair. love everyone. EVERYONE. find the good in people. inspire people. inspire our youth. do not give in to society and all of it’s uselessness. useless coaches and useless teachers hurting our kids. stifling our kids. instilling fear in our kids. creating hatred. creating monsters. creating sheep. coaches and teachers sometimes doing more harm than good. but good coaches and good teachers doing more good than harm. sometimes a kids only chance is having an inspiring coach or an inspiring teacher as their parents have been following the useless rules of society for much too long. following useless politicians and useless bosses. useless manuals and useless priests. so many useless leaders in our useless but beautiful world. the wrong people always in charge. such a fucked up world but such a beautiful world.
INSPIRE.
INSPIRE.
INSPIRE.
do not give up. ever. build leaders. build thinkers. build creators. build a better life than what we have now. time to fight back. do not sit still. do not give up or sit down or lay back or WAIT. NEVER WAIT. DO. LIFE IS SHORT. LONG FOR SOME PEOPLE. VERY SHORT FOR OTHER’S.
friend’s getting cancer. friend’s dying. friend’s sometimes forgotten. sit still. slow down. breathe. breathe. breathe.
I NEVER WANT TO DIE.
I LOVE LIFE SO MUCH EVEN WITH IT’S ANGER AND FRUSTRATIONS AND COMPLEXITIES AND SADNESS AND LOSSES AND CONFUSIONS.
I LOVE LIFE.
LIVE LIFE.
DO NOT LIVE LIFE ONLY ON VACATIONS OR HOLIDAYS. LIVE LIFE ALWAYS AND PASS THIS BEHAVIOUR DOWN TO OUR KIDS. DO NOT PASS DOWN LAZINESS OR BOREDOM OR COMPLACENCY OR HATE OR DULLNESS.
INSPIRE.
ONE LIFE.
ONE.
ONE.
ONE.
LOVE.
LOVE.
LOVE.
FEBRUARY 17, 1978.
SEPTEMBER 24, 2005.
i wish that they met.
notanotherphony. 