another shitty sleep. the 125 mg of zoloft combined with 7.5 mg of zoplicone not working.
still anxious. still can’t sleep. i also take concerta and still have all of my adhd symptoms. why am i even taking these meds? am i crazy? am i desperate? am i afraid of the alternative? how many other people are taking meds that don’t work?
despite a seemingly shitty sleep i am alive and filled with energy and filled with clarity. good conversations about film this morning. passion. art. passionate about art. vulnerability. passionate about vulnerability.
met taylor’s old soccer coach at starbuck’s today. he was there with his wife. he was dressed up and clean shaven. she was not. he was going to a funeral today. she was not. we spoke about getting together for a beer or a round of golf. we hadn’t seen each other for awhile. he then told me that he just got diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. WOW!!! that floored me. so young. he is only forty eight years old. i felt for him. what is he going through? fears? why’s? how’s? what’s the future look like?
diseases are so scary. one day you’re going to work and going to hockey arena’s and soccer fields and hanging out with friends and your wife and kids and twenty four hours later you’re diagnosed with a debilitating and deadly disease.
LIFE CAN BE SO CRUEL.
the wrong people get hit with the worst news.
another reminder to start living now. day by day. do not wait for life to happen. find you’re passion and what you love to do or have to do and do it.
love.
life.
friends.
bad news.
disease.
fear.
unknowns.
death.
notanotherphony. 