MISSING YOUTH.

my hope is still there.

hope that my body is, finally, back to normal and i can exercise again and walk pain free.

a long nine months of pain and uncertainty.

hopelessness and depression.

how pain can cripple you so much.

a silent pain and one that nobody sees.

the days of waking up at 3am are coming to an end, thankfully.

i put myself in positions to fail and then wonder why i am failing in life.

the years are winding down and the choices i made when i was younger are coming back to haunt me.

i was too lost and too impulsive to make mature decisions back then.

i feel more lost now but less impulsive.

almost no impulse to make a decision.

STUCK IN QUICKSAND..

WHY IS QUICKSAND CALLED QUICKSAND WHEN IT SLOWS YOU DOWN AND STOPS YOU FROM MOVING?

such vivid dreams and completely forgotten in the morning.

HELP!!!

I NEED HELP!!!!

are you there johnny?

are you there sally?

anyone?

is there anybody out there?

i walk the trails and breathe in the air.

smell the trees.

smell the pine.

i have always loved the smell of pine needles.

i miss my youth.

i miss my friends.

i miss grade school.

i miss recess.

i miss playing hockey cards.

i miss playing hockey.

i miss playing soccer.

i miss playing baseball.

i miss playing tennis.

i miss playing road hockey.

i miss first time fucks and first time loves.

i miss parties.

i miss my daughter.

and i miss my dad.

MISSING YOUTH.

MISSING…imagine being missing and never to be found.

lost.