death.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

The end is near
 

 The beginning brings tears

  Is this the year

  Death

  

  Two in love

  Together in happiness

   Laughing and dreaming

   Ecstasy

 

   Smiles abound

   Wrinkles unfound

   Young and free

   We

 

   i…do

   me…too

   for better or worse

   love

 

   imprisoned in pain

   waiting in vain

   alone and hurt

   silence

 

   death and dark

   torn apart

   February 17, 1978

   FATE

 

   Over the years

   My eyes shed tears

   Things are sad

   DAD?

 

   I wish it were different

   Life is unfair

   Mom alone in bed

   Daddy’s dead

 

   Life is cruel

   Love or fool

   Life whizzing by

   Mom…please cry

 

   Who’s next?

   We don’t know

   Mom’s getting old

   DEATH

 

do not obey.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

  I sit around.  on set.  waiting.  and waiting.  and waiting.  when do I get to act?  why did I choose this project?  where is the passion in this project?  where is the art in this project?  where is the respect in this project?
  I watch.  I observe.  I believe schools are teaching our kids the wrong things.  they are teaching kids to get jobs.  lowest common denominator jobs.  cogs in the system.  failures teaching the new wave of failures.  acting should be fun.  acting should be invigorating.  “move your left hand to the right.  move your right hand to the left.”  robots talking to other robots.  humanity removed.  emotions removed.  excitement removed.  “WE ARE ALL THE SAME.  WE ARE ALL THE SAME.  WE ARE ALL THE SAME.  YABBA DABBA DO!!!”
  use your voice.  stand up for yourself.  invigorate the system.  bad direction is bad direction is bad environment is bad movie.  always the same.  there are only a few talented and unique directors out there but instead of watching them the puppets are watching bad canadian television because “we must support our industry.”  BULLSHIT.  IF THE PRODUCT SUCKS…THE PRODUCT SUCKS.  DEMAND MORE.  NOT LESS.
  our industry filled with “made up” titles.  i am surprised the puppets aren’t wearing nametags like hotel workers.  or bankers.  same boring stiffs.
  the system will try to stifle you.  try to keep you down.  refuse to be stifled.  refuse to be kept down.  break through the iron curtain.  break through the corporation.  break through the quicksand.  perservere.  FIGHT.  ARGUE.  DEMAND.  SPEAK UP.  do not go to actra union rallies.  these puppets want jobs.  need jobs.  not artists.  the “office workers” are happy when you are scared of them.  FEAR IS USED BY CORPORATIONS.  DICTATORS.  UNIONS.  CASTING DIRECTORS.  TEACHERS.  AGENTS.  STAND UP AND BEAT THEM.  on your deathbed DO NOT REGRET.  CREATE AND YOU WIN.  BE PROUD.  BE UNIQUE.  FIRE.  PASSION.  ANGER.  BE ANGRY.  the only people who don’t want you to be angry are the frightened ones.  REMEMBER…THEY HAVE “MADE UP” JOBS.

help?

notanotherphonyLeave a comment
   I’m feeling weak.  Sunday.  I hate Sunday’s.  two more nights of heavy drinking.  Blackouts.  Breasts.  Money down the drain.  Why?  What’s it all for?  I’m still searching for that perfect girl.  Excitement.  Why can’t I relax and stay home with a girl.  A twenty one year old girl.  Great body.  Loves to fuck.  It was all planned.  She’d be here at nine o’clock.  I wake up at seven and quickly rush out the door.  I need to drink.  Let her down.  I felt bad.  Feelings still there.  I ignore them.  All the time.  Excitement.  Going nuts.  Hands on top of breasts.  Screaming.  Laughing.  Drinking.  Need a phone.  But I spend all my money on booze.  Why?  FUN.  But it’s all over.  Sunday night lying in bed.  Depressed.  Thinking.  Knowing tomorrow will be filled with heat flashes.  Sweating.  Out of shape.  Ugly.  Worthless.  Down and out.  Need money.  What is happening?  Need answers.  Direction.  HELP!!!  Trying to piece the night together.  Flabby.  Scared.  Lonely.  Sadness.  Saying “bye” to Mom.  She’s all alone.  Tears.  Chinese food all over my sheets.  I’M A PIG.  Life is continuing to pass me by.  HELP!!!  No energy.  Sundays.

LAUGH AND LOVE.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

   Why do people watch such phony pathetic crap on television?  Tori and dean.  Jon and kate plus 8.  housewives of orange county.  the bachelor.  Mtv love in awards.  It’s all make believe bullshit.  Soulless people giving us soulless television.  ROBOTS.  PUPPETS.  CORPORATIONS.  RATINGS.  WHY?  People don’t want to think or feel.  Emotions.  Is there something wrong with feeling emotions these days?  LAUGH.  LAUGH.  LAUGH.  But DON’T CRY!!!  DON’T THINK.  HIDE.  OUR SOCIETY.  $$$.

  Life should be for living.  Not sleeping.  Too many people sleepwalk through their lives.  Letting everyone make decisions for them.  None of their own thoughts.  Just rehashed shit.  BORING.  Life’s a show for people.  No connections.  Surface.  Edgy…headache…jerking off.  Addictions.  Fuck then jerk.  WHY?  Too many thoughts.  Images.  Aging.  Looks disappearing.  Energy waning.  Thoughts racing.  Shoe size shrinking.  Ears growing.  Hair falling.  Dick growing.  Hormones raging.  Anger subsiding.  Tits bobbling.  People moving.  People dying.  Body aching.  Sweating.  Angst.  Contradictions.  Too much energy wasted on meaningless people and meaningless opinions.  Laugh instead of fight.

  Where have all the true thinkers gone?  Dying…slowly…mom…DAD…dom…me…family…FEELINGS.

 

 

opinions.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

OPINIONS!!! I love hearing people give their expert opinions on israel and the middle east conflicts, iraq, the united states. What a joke. It’s a waste of time . these peasants are getting their opinions from the puppets on television. And what do they know other than to read the prompter. Go down to israel, iraq, or even the united states. See what’s going on. Decide for yourself. their opinions are the re-hash of other ignorant opinions. Nobody really knows. It’s like religion and god. People waste their whole lives preaching god and religion and live for this unproven thing. Why waste your time? These people obviously have nothing better to do. Live for the moment. Enjoy life. Who knows when it is going to be over.
What menial jobs people have. Working and slaving for other people to make money. Clean the toilets. Mop the floors. Fuck that. I could do less for more money somewhere else. Welfare probably pays more. I know nothing about nothing so I don’t care about iraq or the u.s. or whatever. Boring people with nothing better to do seem to have the most opinions on these issues. PESTS!!! I just want to fuck. Young chicks. Even older chicks. Tight chicks. Wide chicks. CHICKS. The beauty. Except the stuck up chicks. I call them CUNTS. Don’t touch them. OPINIONS. At least my opinions are on the one topic I know best…myself.