I am a caged animal. Living in a world where I am looked down upon for being who I am. A false world. Being fake is the norm. what you are is more important than who you are. I can’t sleep. Fucking thoughts invading my head all the time. Burning up inside all the time. Rage ready to be released at any point. Laughter turning to tears turning to hatred turning to rage. Who is going to get it today? I don’t know. If I wasn’t locked up in this fucking cage I could give you a clearer answer. But…Who the fuck locked me up anyways? What have I done wrong except live my life the way I want to live it. No rules. I don’t hurt people. You people do that. You hurt people everyday. Looking down at people. Hurting people to make you feel better about yourselves. SELF. THAT’S ME!!! Shitting on people’s carpets. How was I supposed to know that I had flung that piece of shit onto the back of my pants? Did I really want to mess up your white carpet? NO!!! mistakes happen. All the time. I haven’t done that since. Now I sit down to wipe my ass. People are so fucking selfish. If you say you are going to call. CALL FOR FUCK SAKES. PICK UP THE PHONE. DIAL. PRESS THE BUTTONS. It takes two seconds. “Oh sorry. I lost your number. BULLSHIT. Why the fuck did you want it in the first place? To feel good about yourself??? You fat fucking piece of shit. Instead of calling me you were probably at McDonald’s or Burger King eating three combo’s and stuffing your fat fucking face full of shit. “Oh I can’t lose weight. It’s a disease.” “FUCK YOU!!! Yeah so is alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, blah blah blah.” JUST STOP IT. STOP DRINKING. STOP SNORTING. STOP FUCKING. STOP EATING YOU PIECE OF FLAB. I need a woman. Not any women. A beautiful loving woman. Caring. Full of drive. LET ME OUT. HEY GUARDS. CHECK YOUR WATCH. I NEED TO GET OUTTA HERE. GUARDS!!! FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. SHIT. BASTARDS.
What possibly could I have done? Why am I here? Who wants me here? I haven’t hurt anyone. YET. I am me. Is that a sin? Maybe it is. Masturbating is a sin. Sex before marriage is a sin. Killing a sperm is a sin. PRO CHOICE…SIN. WHO THE FUCK MADE THESE RIDICULOUS FUCKING GUIDELINES FOR US ANIMALS TO FOLLOW? WHO IS GOD? The General Manager of a Hotel? Or is he a cop? Same thing. Or maybe he is one of these fucking pretentious Artistic Directors of Canadian Theatre that judges what is good and what is not good. Well his mind is warped whoever he is. It’s all religious crap. THEATRE…RELIGION…SAFETY…FUCK ALL OF YOU.
LET ME OUT!!! HELP!!! It’s getting hot in here. I’m getting hot. Sweat. Don’t tell me what to do. I’m dying in this place. I’m dying out of this place. I’m dying. Everybody’s dying. Slowly. Some slower than others. Death. Who decides it. Who chooses who dies first or second or how or when? Who chooses that? The Artistic Director? Why the fuck doesn’t he die. He’s killing us with the shows he’s putting on year after year. Well, he’s not killing US…he’s killing ME. Most puppets fake they like his shows. Death. Where do we go? Where’s my Dad? Where’s Nana? Where’s Gary Brown? Where’s Adolf Hitler? No really…where is he? Did he die? Why wasn’t he tortured? If there is a god why are innocent little girls and boys tortured and raped while guys like Adolf Hitler run whole countries? Why is OJ Simpson a free man? He should be in this cell? Not me. What did I do? I prayed. No response. Fucking people. Make me sick. SO FAKE. It’s better to be dumb in this world. Block things out. That’s what my psychiatrist should say. “Block it out son. You’re killing yourself!!!” It’s not me. I’m fine. It’s them. It’s you. LET ME OUT. I’M FREAKING OUT. MAYBE IT’S NOT A DREAM. IT’S REALITY. WHAT IS REALITY? I’M SO ALONE. Lonely and hungry. PEACEFUL. It’s peaceful in here. Nobody bugging me. Nobody telling me what to do. JAIL. They should advertise it more often. It’s better service than many hotels. Better food than McDonald’s. better entertainment than any $10 show. You’ve got everything here. Fights. Action. Fucking. Sucking…how old am I now? How long have I been in this cage? Who put me here? I shouldn’t be here. People. Where’s my Mom? Mom, I need you. Where are you? MOM??? Please??? MOM??? HELL. FUCK. HOT. WHAT THE…
notanotherphony. 