my visit with bob.

greek’s party.  wednesday night.  rylee and nicole home.  rylee throwing up.  missed her christmas party.  she’s upset.  so are we.  i have to drive so can’t drink much.  am i actually mature?  it only took forty five years.  i arrive in unionville at 5pm.  party starts at 7pm.  normally i would call greek up and drink for two hours before the party.  not anymore.  i hate getting old.  i sit at second cup.  drink coffee.  read scripts.  yawn.  tired.  bored.  maybe i’m sick.  finish coffee.  go to beer store.  trying to waste time.  only 6pm.  still one hour till kickoff.  i drive through the old part of unionville.  memories.  some good.  some bad.  reminiscing.  it can be happy.  but it can also be sad.  life moving too quickly.  i know many people say that getting old is great and there is no age that they would rather be than the one they are now but i don’t buy it.  i would love to be a kid again.  playing hockey.  playing soccer.  playing baseball.  playing.  no worries.  whole life ahead of you.  long nights and even longer days.  do you think someone will ever invent a time machine?  i hope so.
  anyway, one hour still left to waste as i drive around aimlessly.  thinking but still aimless and then i saw the house.  the house on the corner.  forget the street name but will never forget the house.  this time not a bad memory.  great memories.  memories of youth and fun and games and trouble and ping pong and basketball and movies and stories and “kick the can” and friendship.  doogie beckett’s house.  my best friend from the age of seven until the age of eighteen.  we shared so much.  great times.  bad times.  happy times. sad times.  best friends.  we were on the same hockey team.  the same line.  leading scorers on the team.  year in and year out.  fun.  fun.  fun.
  over the years we lost touch.  i don’t know why.  life is weird sometimes.  people who were never apart are now never together.  sadness setting in.  life shouldn’t be so cruel.  but it is. 
  anyway, i saw doogie’s house and drove by.  looked in.  drove slowly.  looked in again and saw someone sitting down.  probably bob, doogie’s dad.  rose, doogie’s mom, passed away two years ago from cancer.  WHAT A SICK AND TERRIFYING DISEASE.  anyway, i drove by and thought about what once was and then made my way to greek’s.  but something stopped me.  there was the obvious stop sign but something more.  a feeling.  an emotion.  a guilt.  i don’t know but my car stopped and i turned around.  i drove back to doogie’s old house.  pulled over to the side of the curb and parked my car.  i turned off the engine.  turned off the lights.  opened the door.  got out.  shut the door.  locked the door.  then approached the house.  i unlocked the gated fence (it was a struggle).  i looked around.  didn’t want to get attacked by a dog.  no dog.  looked into the front window and sitting in the chair that rose once occupied was bob.  bob beckett.  doogie’s dad.  i knocked on the door and went in.  at first bob didn’t recognize me.  i haven’t seen him in over twenty five years.  he was fifty when i last saw him.  he is now seventy-five.  i was twenty when i last saw him.  i am now forty-five.  life flies by.  sad.  i introduced myself and a huge smile appeared on bob’s face.  he offered me a beer which i politely refused.  responsible?  sometimes.  i sat down.  we talked.  we talked about old times.  good times.  old friends.  family.  hockey.  rose.  death.  doogie.  mateer. great times we once had together.  i love reminiscing.  i hate reminiscing.  always torn.  we talked as though we were never apart.  bob looked older.  that scared me.  i am sure i looked older and maybe that scared him.  but it was nice.  it was beautiful.  i wish we would never die.  i wish we would never drift apart.  i wish life was always fun.  love old friends.  the hour went by quickly, of course and i had to leave.  didn’t want to.  bob is such a great guy.  i feel bad for him that he is now all alone.  life can be cruel.  but my hour spent with bob was one of the best hours i have spent with anyone in the last five years.  a memory that will last a lifetime.  for him and me.  life doesn’t have to be so complex.  so hard.  so depressing.  sometimes all we need is a little love.  and touch.  and talk.  and respect.  and care.
  as i was leaving we planned on meeting again.  this time with doogie and mateer.  back at bob’s house.  with beers and pizza and we will sleepover and not drive so we can drink and talk and reminisce about life and what once was and just be like good old friends again. 
  i miss my old friends.  i miss my youth.  i miss my dad.  never take life for granted and re-connect with people who you once cared about.  life is too short.