my friend Bess.

another great person gone much much MUCH too young.  a woman filled with love and happiness and more love and empathy and a HUGE HEART and an even bigger soul.  a woman that never spoke ill of anyone.  a woman who brightened every room she entered.  a woman full of life and full of laughter.  gone.  why?  why is it always why?  and why are my questions never answered?
her beautiful sister leaving us much too early as well.  she suffered in pain with a dreaded disease and now this.  what have her parents done to deserve so much pain and agony???  NOT FUCKING FAIR!!!
memories fill my head and fill my heart.  memories of great times spent with Bess.  many of the drunken kind but that is what Bess was all about.  fun.  fun.  and more fun.  we also had great conversations about life and great conversations about love.  I remember walking down the strip in Acapulco at four in the morning drunkenly looking for food and drunkenly looking for our room that we all shared.  The Cult or INXS blaring.  me lip synching.  fan blowing hot air through my hairy chest.  Bess killing herself with laughter. I am sure she carried me home some nights and managed to keep me out of trouble other nights and never a judgement on her part.  just a big friendly smile with words of. “I love you Chris.  You kill me.”  an amazing human being.
St. Robert’s parties.  Cottage parties.  Acapulco.  RPM.  House parties.  Concerts.  a life filled with fun and love.
I remember one night being drunk at Ontario Place and stupidly walking around with a rubber penis on a coat hanger.  I would tap various people on the back of the neck and they would turn around and freak out on me and then I ran into Bess.  I started dying with laughter and so did she.  but no judgement.  no words of, “you need to grow up.”  just a big old hug and a big old laugh.  LOVE.  REAL LOVE FROM A LOVELY PERSON.
I remember being at Mount Sinai as her sister, Kelly, was dying of cancer and seeing Bess by her bedside.  still amidst all the suffering Bess managed a smile and a hug and was so GRATEFUL that I came down.  she could not thank me enough.  but I wasn’t the only one there as her sister Kelly, was also a lovely person with a huge heart and a huge soul.  endless smiles and endless laughs.  two amazing sisters gone way too early!!!
Years passed and I saw Bess less and less.  I got married.  had a young girl.  moved in and out of Toronto.  typical life events and happenings that typically take over lives and sometimes keep you from seeing your good friends and good family.  But then I would see Bess again at Rob and Maria’s house and it would be like we were never apart.  laughs and hugs and kisses and lots of talk involving lots of booze and lots of … and then we would part ways again.
I remember walking through Bellwoods Park with Rylee one cold Saturday afternoon and there was Bess.  all smiles.  all hugs.  It was the first time that she had met Rylee and she was immediately drawn to her.  she showered her with the same love and care that she showered everyone with.  so genuine.  so real.  so honest.  and Rylee immediately LOVED her too.  good kids know good adults.  they see and feel better than adults and Rylee was mesmerized by Bess.  we spent the rest of the day with Bess at the park for a fundraiser that Bess was helping out with for one of her gazillion friends.  such a random meeting but such a rewarding and fun one too.  Bess drove us back to our condo and Rylee insisted that Bess come up to our place.  Of course Bess came up.  she could never say “no”.  Plus she had to use the washroom.  hahaha (that one is for you Bess).
and now I sit here crying.  thinking about her.  thinking about her parents.  thinking about her brother.  thinking about her great friends, including Maria and Soraya.  knowing that they are both devastated as well.
tears……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
more tears……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
and more tears……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
why??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
tears……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
BYE BESS.  YOU WERE LOVED BY SO MANY AND YOU LOVED US ALL BACK.
YOU TRULY TRULY TRULY WILL BE MISSED.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
love your friend Chris.