death. sickness. disease. sadness. depression. lost hopes. lost dreams. no hope. no dreams. mired in depression but blaming everyone else. holding kids hostage. hurting your own children but refusing help. needing help but blaming others. life passing by. slowly. quickly. no way out. no friends. no relationships. hurt. pain. anxiety. no exercise. bad eating habits. no structure. no fun. no goals. no successes. failures. no parents. no help. lost parents. lost souls. no hearts. no thoughts. DEATH. brief mourning. the mourning continues. the mourning is more depression than mourning. blame it on the death of loved ones but it is a mask for pain. a mask for depression. kids playing outside. kids having fun. butterflies and angels. snakes and ladders. dogs and cats and bunny rabbits leading kids down poor paths that lead to hiding instead of exploring. helping mom instead of playing. letting go but hanging on. hurting our children with unresolved pains from the past. sickening. selfish. rotten. mirrors everywhere but never used. fake IG posts trying to mask the pain. the shame. nothing working. the walls are crumbling. the pain is growing. walls caving in. boredom. dull. lonely. sad. no more “goodnight Daddy”. painful. unfair. hurt. open wounds. a little kid in a grown up body with grown up friends and grown up rules that the peasants follow to a “tee” but never really working. PAIN. SORROW. LACK OF LOVE. LACK OF CONNECTION. LACK OF UNDERSTANDING. LACK OF LIFE. LIVES MATTER. WHERE IS THE MIRROR? WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS? WHERE ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
one life to live. one kid to raise. painful memories never resolved. do you need help? ask for help. break down the wall. BREAK IT DOWN!!! too many lives wasted in ego. wasted in “strength”. wasted on people’s opinions that do not matter. grow. evolve. live. let go. breathe. do. be. love. allow. surrender. let it all out. ask for help. do not be a hero. do not put me down. do not talk down to me. do not treat me like a second class citizen. look in the mirror and accept. WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU?
life passing by. passions? dreams? goals? loves? hope. lack of hope. help. help. help. ask for help.
“bless me father for I have sinned.”
jail.
drunk.
father dead.
friends dead.
family members dead.
friends in pain.
family members in pain.
society in pain.
the world is in pain.
feel.
hurt.
sad.
lost.
sleeping.
no more “goodnight”.
sore stomach.
pains.
aches.
alive.
I am alive.
I am ready.
I am creating.
I am different.
I am unique.
no more holding back.
no more hiding.
no more rules.
only truth.
only feelings.
little thoughts.
I am sad tonight.
I am worried tonight.
some things will never change.
time to go.
notanotherphony. 