life continuing to move forward. to move fast. to move in all directions. dog barking. already had a walk but he can be as needy as other’s for my time. my energy. I feel that I am always giving away my time. my energy. my life. but I will take ownership for my life. my problems. my wins and my many losses. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
one minute of peace as my dog has stopped barking and I am able to type with a foggy tired brain. a tired foggy brain taking in Sinead O’Connor’s, SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL. but alas, I hear a garbage truck. now a snowmobile. mind speeding up. breath stinky. too much coffee. too many pills. too much stimulation. not enough action. not enough connection. human connection is needed. always needed. always missed. I lack human connection. BUT I TAKE OWNERSHIP. EXTREME OWNERSHIP.
BORED. SO BORED. ANOTHER DAY. ANOTHER DOLLAR. WHAT A SHITTY SAYING. I WANT TO LIVE. TO LIVE A FULL LIFE FILLED WITH ADVENTURE AND PASSION AND CREATIVITY AND DISCUSSIONS AND GREAT WINE AND BETTER TALKS AND GOOD FILMS WITH GOOD FOOD. CITY LIVING IS LIVING. SUBURBAN LIVING IS DYING. DYING A SLOW DEATH IN MALLS AND HOCKEY ARENAS AND DOCTOR’S OFFICES AND SCHOOL ASSEMBLIES AND FITNESS GYMS AND TIM HORTON’S. CITY LIVING IS FILLED WITH GREAT RESTAURANTS AND GREAT COFFEE SHOPS AND GREAT CINEMAS AND GREAT DIVERSITY AND GREAT MUSIC AND GREAT HOUSES AND GREAT LIBRARIES. I LOVE CITIES. I HATE SUBURBS. BORING. BORED. TIRED. RESTLESS. STRUGGLE. FAR DRIVES EVERYWHERE. TRAFFIC EVERYWHERE. TIMMIE HORTON’S EVERYWHERE. SHITTY TAKE-OUT EVERYWHERE. DULL PEOPLE. DULL TRUCKS. DULL LIVES. DULLNESS AND BOREDOM. BOREDOM AND DULLNESS.
IRAN???
I have heard great things about the country. Tehran is supposedly a fantastic city with young artists filling the streets. but, once again, old dull politicians ruining cities. ruining countries. ruining lives. ruining the world. BUT GETTING FINANCIALLY REWARDED FOR IT.
OUR SYSTEM IS FUCKED.
OUR SYSTEM IS FLAWED.
there are many assholes like Sean Hannity and Donald Trump whose mouths are bigger than their brains. bigger than their hearts. do they have hearts? do they have brains?
tired. brain foggy. eyes blurry. sleep awaits me. tired arms. tired legs. tired mind. tired eyes. everything tired until I lay down to sleep. attempted sleep in an attempted life. an attempt to succeed but everything is just a bit “off”. my chair is off. my shirt is off. my eyes are off. my brain is off. my thoughts are off. my listening skills are off. the power of positivity. I CAN’T FUCKING SEE DOCTOR!!! HELP ME!!! AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NOISE??? I CAN’T FUCKING THINK!!! EVERYTHING IS OFF DOC. HELP ME PLEASE!!! PLEASE HELP ME. MY FUCKING SHIRT IS DRIVING ME INSANE WITH IT’S NOISY BUTTONS SLIDING AGAINST THE TABLE. WHY IS MY COMPUTER SO FAR AWAY. SO UNCOMFORTABLE. EVERYTHING IS A LITTLE OFF. EVEN MY FUCKING SPELLING IS OFF!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK!!!!!!!
FUCK!!!!!!!
FUCK!!!!!!!
AND NOW MY BACK HURTS!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS AN OLD WHITE MAN SUPPOSED TO DO? I NEED TO RAISE THIS GODDAMN CHAIR. MY NECK IS BEING STRAINED.
PAUSE.
chair raised. I feel weird. noisy shirt still driving me crazy.
how many poor people will die tonight?
how many poor people will kill tonight?
how many poor people will rob tonight?
how many poor people will steal tonight?
how many old white politicians will laugh tonight?
how many old white politicians will lie tonight?
how many old white politicians will count their money tonight?
how many old white politicians will read a book tonight? ZERO!!!
DONALD TRUMP. DOUG FORD. SICK PATHETIC INDIVIDUALS WITH SICK PATHETIC AGENDAS. WE’RE SUPPOSED TO LOOK UP TO THESE MAGGOTS? WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW THE LEAD OF THESE PEASANTS? DULL. WHITE. OLD. BORING. DUMB. OUT OF SHAPE. FAKE. FAKE FUCKERS LEADING FAKE LIVES WITH THEIR FAKE WIVES AND FAKE SMILES IN THEIR FAKE HOMES WITH THEIR FAKE EMOTIONS AND FAKE TEETH. FAKE FUCKS.
FAKE.
FAKE.
FAKE.
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FAKE?
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FAKE?
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FAKE?
my back is sore. my ears are ringing from my damn shirt buttons. my chair is uncomfortable. my eyes are blurry. I am tired. I am bored. I need an adventure. I need to live. I need a life. I need an outlet. I need discussion. I need human connection. I need a glass of wine. I need to act. I need to make a film. I need to create. I need to be a good Dad. I need to exercise. I need to get a new car. I need to move to a city. I need to escape the suburbs. I need to have fun. I need to help people. I need to expose the liars. I need to expose the frauds. I need to inspire. I need to stop wasting my life away. I need to slow down. I need to speed up. I need to see my Dad again. I need to help people. I need HELP. HELP ME FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED. WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT!!!!!!!!! WHO BELIEVES THIS SHIT? HOW CAN WE BE SO GULLIBLE? WHY DO WE NOT THINK FOR OURSELVES!!!
I AM FED UP.
I AM TIRED.
TOO MANY NEEDS. NOT ENOUGH MONEY. NOT ENOUGH FUN. NOT ENOUGH HOPE.
HOPE???
FREEDOM???
MORE IS LESS OR LESS IS MORE.
BELL LET’S TALK??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I AM BUDDHA. LISTEN TO ME AND I WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE. BUT BEFORE I SAVE IT CAN YOU PLEASE DEPOSIT ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS INTO MY ACCOUNT.
RELIGIOUS FANATICS.
THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT.
THE EVANGELICALS.
SO FAKE. SO FUCKED. SO SICK.
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.
notanotherphony. 