another poor sleep. mind must be racing but I am unsure of what it is racing about. I had a great day busting my ass doing construction with my best friend. we always have great talks and bring up stories from the past in between our heavy lifting and heavy cursing. our society is consumed with owning homes and lessening their mortgages. trying to be mortgage free at the expense of life. I would judge these people and maybe I do but I am also fifty-three years old and renting a shitty townhouse in a dull shitty town without culture and without life. I judge thee more harshly than I judge them. a life of judgements and a life of plans that have become more pressing and more urgent. every decision appears to be HUGE when you are over fifty. a mistake and a choice now that goes wrong could spell years of doom and gloom. more years of doom and gloom. periodic excitement and periodic fun in an otherwise life filled with stress and boredom. “what to do? what to do? I am always trying to figure out what to do.” I need to “do” and stop thinking about “doing.” action. action. action.
lots of awards shows. lots of awards. lots of trophies but what do they all mean? lots of shitty shows and shitty movies and shitty books. and shitty food. but what does it all mean? is our society consumed by shitty product? and if it is consumed by shitty product do we ever ask ourselves why it is consumed by shitty product? has it always been consumed by shitty product?
a shitty sleep. now I need to take a shit. off to do a shitty Covid test. driving in my shitty car with a shitty tire on a shitty road. a life if shit and piss and more shit and more piss.
where is the love?
where is the life?
live life while living NOT while dead and alone.
the Catholic lie.
notanotherphony. 