i’m mad at everything and frustrated with everything as well. life isn’t what they told me it would be like back in grade 7 or grade 8. so much promise. so much hope. my whole life was ahead of me but now I sit in my shitty house in a shitty town and I am fifty-four years old. i have lived a long time and lived a full life. fulfilling??? not so sure but full??? yes. lots of great memories and lots of great friends. lots of epic struggles and lots of wins. lots of losses and lots of fucks. lots of booze and lots of women. lots of jobs and lots of arrests. lots of zits and lots of pain. lots of shame and lots of blame. rain. pain. sane. living in vain. vanity ruining the world. or is it politics ruining the world? or is it a combo of things but GREED always at the center of problems. with GREED comes lies. with lies comes deception. with deception comes phoniness. with phoniness comes patheticness. with patheticness comes sadness. and with sadness comes depression. a vicious cycle downwards that many find hard to stop. stop eating. stop drinking. stop fucking. stop yelling. stop swearing. stop fighting. STOP. STOP. STOP. everything and everyone tells me to STOP. rules that make no sense. regulations that make no sense. who makes up the rules? do politicians need an IQ test before they get into power? why do we elect such average and dull people to lead us. and where have they lead us? inflation on the rise while wages remain stagnant. useless jobs that pay useless wages. then there is useless jobs that pay high wages. jobs that bring nothing of value to our society but allow men and women to own homes and own cars. allow men and women to own expensive cars and expensive clothes. allow men and women to go on expensive trips and eat at expensive restaurants. the world is a very messed up or fucked up place? while people are travelling to the moon other people are dying from starvation. dying from disease. dying from a system that gives them no help nor offers any love. an old and tired system but all the alternatives seem just as old and just as useless. were the rules made to keep the rich in power and thriving while continuing to keep the poor depressed and dying? dying a slow death. a slow death filled with hunger and stress and violence and struggle. lives lost and lives buried. endless and needless wars that cause endless and needed destruction. countries ravaged more than they were ravaged the last time. humanity is falling by the wayside. replaced by anger and greed and a “ME. ME. ME.” doctrine.
i hear kids playing street hockey outside. that brings a smile to my face. it brings humanity back to my mind and back to my body. my world needs to become more simple. the world is a lost cause. many people are great. but the leaders and maggots of our world have put us all in a bind. they have continued to look away from the real issues and continued to focus on meaningless issues.
i was very much into writing but now my energy has stopped and my brain wants more activity. more excitement. time to go for a run.
our world leaders are sick.
our world leaders are greedy.
our world leaders are boring.
our world leaders are fake.
FUCK THE PHONIES.
ALWAYS FUCK THE PHONIES.
IS THERE A WORSE QUALITY TO HAVE THAN BEING A PHONY?
sick and sad.
notanotherphony. 