the problem with mental illness is how do you know if you have a mental illness? society tells you that you don’t and that you just have to buckle down and you have to eat better and sleep better and exercise better and drink less and take your vitamins and strive to be your best and love more and fight less and be zen more and be more still and less frantic and get a great job and listen to your boss and don’t question too much because if you question too much then you will look like a disgruntled employee and nobody wants a disgruntled employee and then you stifle your thoughts and stifle your emotions or let them loose and get fired and then you sit in shame and then people blame and then you seemingly make excuses and then some people tell you to “GROW UP” and then others tell you to go see a psychiatrist and then when you do they say that you have ANXIETY DISORDER OR NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER OR DEPRESSION OR ADHD OR BIPOLAR OR PTSD OR A COMBO OF ALL and then you take meds and take more meds and then your mind is busy and your head hurts so then you complain and want to go off your meds and then others tell you to stay on your meds and others tell you to smoke weed and then you try that and that doesn’t work so you are frustrated and then edgy and lost and then people tell you to “FORGET IT ALL AND LIVE YOUR LIFE” but your mind is still foggy and your head is sore and your vision is blurry but then you have a few good days and you are excited again and think that it will all work out but then you have a bad day and want to go off your meds or change your meds or get another diagnosis as you are convinced that no one has really taken the time to diagnose you properly and if they do take the time then there is a huge waiting list for that type of psychiatrist and you are left frustrated again and lost again and hopeless again and then in your head again and wanting help but people are fed up with listening and fed up with helping and then you sit in shame again.
and while all of this is happening in your mind there is a needless war going on and many needless deaths and The Kardashians are still making millions and billions for a product that is phony and sick. phony and sad.
gas prices are going up.
house prices are going up.
face is pulsating.
“YOU’VE GOT TO BARE DOWN.”
MEDITATE. MIND STILL FOGGY.
and now back at square one.
we are all left to fend for ourselves.
I AM A WARRIOR.
notanotherphony. 