long day at the beach. swam in the ocean. lots of waves. lots of girls. lots of guys. lots of kids. lots of sun. many different ethnicities all together and having fun. fun in the sun. i feel bad about not getting Triggy a gift but without lots of money, needless gifts that end up in the garbage is not in the cards. “It’s the thought that counts. Right?”
anyway, a wonderful end to a wonderful trip. a working trip but ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY!!!
i am now sitting at the airport waiting for my flight back home. still edgy. still sweaty. lots of beautiful people walking around but I don’t think that I am one of them. i have to really work hard to really be beautiful. maybe I need to work less and in working less I will feel more beautiful. i prefer to look dirty. I am “ME” when I am dirty. i thrive when I am dirty. being pretty doesn’t suit me. i am bald. i am old. i am wrinkly. i am poor. i am sweaty. i am edgy. my skin burns in the sun. my skin is sensitive. i am a sensitive dirty old man. i wonder if I am the poorest man in this airport? my face is pulsating. i am waiting. i am writing. i am thinking. i am seeing. seeing happy faces with happy smiles and happy families. i see an airport filled with joy. all ethnicities. all genders. why do people hurt each other? i see the greatness in our society and, yet, there is so much evil in our society as well. what causes this? economy? our system? our rules? our greed? our lack of love and lack of respect? why are some people sooooo angry? sooooo sad? soooo lost? i am farting. i feel sorry for the ones who will be seated beside me on the plane.
soooo many people in wheelchairs. i wonder what happened to them? many are alone. how sad. where is their family? where are their families? i need to take a shit before I go onto the plane. once i am on a plane i hate getting up. i like hiding in my seat. don’t move. don’t talk. don’t put my seat back. i am too nice. too polite. too caring. is that a fault in every culture? it seems to be a fault in North America. It shouldn’t be a fault.
many heavyset american men walking around in bright golf shirts and talking very loudly. BIG AND BOLD. i am skinny and edgy. fragile and confused. HEART. EMPATHY. CURIOUS. AWAKE. AWARE. INTELLIGENT. a curious and artistic heart. a curious and artistic soul. but with the curious heart and the artistic soul comes a lack of conviction. a lack of confidence.
OWN THAT.
OWN ME.
notanotherphony. 