my cold still in full effect. stuffy nose. hacking cough. low energy. the cold telling me that i need to slow down a little but i cannot slow down at all. time is too precious. after years of wasting my life away on booze and drugs and shitty jobs and shitty psychiatrists i am trying to make up for lost time. my nose running and still bugging me. murphy beside me of course. murphy always beside me unless i leave the house. and i hate leaving the house and looking at his sad, lonely, puppy dog eyes as i leave.
i worked at the Goodhawk last night and, although still sick, i had a great time. my buddy asked me to help out as their dishwasher had broken down so i came in to save the day. i remember being a dishwasher over forty years ago at a few different restaurants and hated it. i never have enough confidence to go for the better jobs. the better positions. the better pay. the better life. not sure why. the psychiatrists don’t know why either.
so i’m back dishwashing and can feel the energy and the excitement out on the main floor. great vibe. great music. great restaurant. great food. great people. i was boiling hot and sweating. dripping. runny nose. i needed to blow my nose and because i have never learned how to blow my nose into a tissue i leave my dishwashing station to run out to the bathroom that the patrons use. no bathroom in the kitchen. while running out to the bathroom i pass the small bar and see a beautiful family of four sitting, laughing, smiling, talking, drinking.
“hi.”
‘hi.”
“you must be Jack. Sarah has told me all about you.”
“yes. hi”
we all introduce ourselves. all smiling. all engaging.
we discuss the flower shop where sarah works. we discuss the restaurant. discuss suzanne.
i tell them that I am helping out and helping with the dishes tonight but will be bartending soon.
“what do you do outside of here?”
“i went to theatre school. i’m an actor.”
“oh that’s great. where can we see your work? what have you been on?”
“i was just in LA shooting a tv show.”
“what show?”
“a new show called Strangers. it won’t be out until next year.”
“where will we see it?”
“it’ll be on netflix.”
totally lying. i am sure nobody will ever see it but people always ask the same questions.
‘what are you on? where can we see you?”
i hate explaining the truth about acting and the biz and the utter bullshit of the industry so I tell quick lies with a quick smile and we quickly move on.
what a shitty industry filled with dull snakes and heartless pylons.
“oh but i did have a great scene with burt reynold’s before he died. it was his last movie and i played his lawyer.”
“ohhh…that’s great. amazing. i never really thought he was a great actor but he’s an icon.”
“yeah for sure. he took on some bad movies and then posed for playboy or playgirl.”
“yeah that’s right.”
“well i better get back to my duties. hahaha. great meeting you and have a fantastic dinner.”
and with that I walked back to my dishwashing station. i never did make it to the bathroom and my nose was still running. always getting sidetracked. always engaged. great little chat. great energy. rich people with rich lives. wealth passing down their wealth to their kids who then pass it down to their kids. rich staying rich. poor staying poor. middle class staying middle class. middle class desperately working to get rich and usually ending up the same. more haggard. more tired. more angry. more frustrated. more lonely. more lost. more dull.
“LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT.”
such dull statements by old dull people.
i’m hot and i am sick.
runny nose.
this time i will make it to the bathroom.
notanotherphony. 