today could be the last day of my life.

woke up groggy. thought it was monday. a lot of wine and a lot of junk food last night. my mind is a little foggy. my body tired. this won’t last.

“this too shall pass.”

screaming kids and loud cars will not get me down today. i have a free day from the family, including murphy, so it’s a GET SHIT DONE DAY. cannot waste the day away with needless conversations and needless traffic. needless shows and needless learning of lines.

run in the great outdoors.

run on the trails.

run in nature.

long runs but slow.

slow and steady.

focused and deliberate. deliberately focused.

i will miss my family when they are gone. i always do. we never really do much together but when we are apart we all miss each other. strange. or maybe it’s not strange. we love each other but also get on each other’s nerves.

FAMILY.

i have a bloated stomach. my fault. myself to blame. why? i have eaten too much junk food lately. i have drank too much wine. choices in life. we all have choices. a man is hacking up a lung behind me. probably a smoker. unhealthy. many unhealthy people eating unhealthy foods and watching unhealthy content on tv. unhealthy lifestyles lead to unhealthy lives. then you die. buried all alone under some dirt and forgotten soon after.

today could be the last day of my life.

today could be the last day of your life.

last breath.

sadness sets in.

i still feel bloated.

sad.

bloated.

excited.

the “coughing man” still coughing. still unhealthy. still unaware.

did i take my concerta today? i grabbed the bottle but then forgot if i, actually, took my meds. i think i did. maybe i didn’t. not sure. unsure.

ACCEPT.

ALWAYS ACCEPT..

LIFE.