after a long weekend of nothingness i wake up on tuesday morning to find more bank notices telling me that my bank account is overdrawn by 700 dollars. this has become a monthly occurrence so the stress upon seeing the notices has subsided somewhat. it is not a great way to live but i’ve been living this semi tortured semi artistic life for a long time now and NOW certainly isn’t the time to quit. our society prefers bankers, developers, and crooked politicians over honest and authentic artists but so be it.
FUCK THEM.
i will NOT lose my voice.
in fact, as i grow and as i heal my voice will become stronger and louder.
years and years of allowing others to dictate my life has left me beaten down and broken. broken and beaten down.
insecure.
lacking confidence.
lacking purpose.
lacking self esteem.
lacking an identity.
lacking love.
lacking money.
lacking fun.
lacking faith.
lacking convictions.
I AM THE LACKING MAN.
BUT NO MAS.
NO MORE.
i will drink that second coffee.
i will drink that second glass of red wine.
i will speak my mind.
I AM WELL READ.
I AM WELL EDUCATED.
I AM NOT A SHEEP.
you can’t be a sheep when you are piss poor and disgruntled.
IMPOSSIBLE.
impossible lies.
impossible truths.
impossible hope.
money.
money.
money.
notanotherphony. 