no energy to speak with anyone yesterday. some days i can do it. other days i have to hide. i have less and less patience these days.
small talk bores me.
zionists bore me.
motivational speakers bore me.
work bores me.
i am limited on what doesn’t bore me.
i must find those things.
i am struggling to find the right pillow for sleeping. thick ones hurt my neck. my “pancake” one hurts my arms. i have decided to go with the “pancake” pillow.
it didn’t hurt me for ten years so there is some factual evidence to base my decision on.
when i’m at the gym i see old men with saggy balls. why don’t my balls sag? mine are tight and almost non-existent. they seem to be disappearing. is my sex drive finally slowing down? am i becoming too aware? too conscious? too understanding? too empathetic?
left side of my neck is stiff and sore.
right side is good.
arms feel better.
gym today for sure.
just a steam.
long walk.
long meditation.
long stretching session.
long conversations.
long laughter.
long life.
long days.
long nights.
longing for more.
searching for more.
understanding more.
feeling less?
feeling more?
less is more?
back to the breath.
always back to the breath.
taylor … i love you.
notanotherphony. 