notanotherphony.

late night of drinking wine with my father in law and his wife. great conversations with Janet. always engaging. always interesting. always filled with heart. filled with soul. lots of wine. lots of laughs. lots of tears. even when someone seems successful and happy there are other concerns and other problems. addictions and cocaine and failures and monies spent and tears and frustrations and fears and love and confusion and loss of love and loss of hope. unless one has dealt with addiction one cannot be an expert on addiction.

some cunt walking around on set bossing people around in a rude way. bossy and short. ignorant and rude. cunty and fucky and even I wouldn’t fuck her. why do such meaningless cunts feel the need to be cunty and rude? shitty show. cunty woman.

FUCK HER.

STAND UP.

DO NOT BACK DOWN.

DO NOT RESPOND TO CUNTY CUNTS WHO TALK DOWN TO ME.

CUNT.

need to take a shit but now I have too many layers on. hot and sweaty. fidgety and semi sore head and semi fuzzy mind. lots of useless chatter and useless minds. small minds. small people.

FUCK EVERYONE.

LOVE EVERYONE.

it never changes.

it never ends.

until one day you are strapped to an old white bed in an old white hospital with old white nurses and old wrinkled white doctors.

the sky is grey and the words are at a minimum. life finally coming to an end but you go out a lot less hopeful and happy than when you came in.

THE TREE OF LIFE.

LOVE.

HOPE.

LOVE.

REGRET.

MOM?

I LOVE YOU.

early morning call. up at five am. leaving Murphy, Rylee, and Triggy at home. always tough leaving them at home. but then there’s other days where I can’t wait to leave them. i can’t wait to leave them until I leave them and then I feel guilty that I left them. emotions always getting the best of me.

early morning call.

early morning coffee.

early morning drive into the city.

traffic still rearing it’s ugly head. big trucks with big lights beaming through the back of my rearview window. blinding me. blinding me. can’t see. blurry. trucks up my ass. big trucks. small dicks. weak men always trying to be strong. never able to accept their fate. never able to love. never able to feel. never able to live. never able to relax. dumb stories about dumb things.

bragging.

yelling.

miniscule minds with miniscule lives.

lives once lived but now buried under bad beer and bad breath.

the purpose of life?

the meaning of life?

the lies of life.

living legends?

living legends in their own minds.

LOST.

HOPEFULL.

when will it all end?

when will it all begin?

i thought it was noon but it’s only nine am.

lots of people.

lots of talking.

lots of experts.

lots of opinions.

lots of loss.

lots of love.

we need more love.

more heart.

more friends.

better friends.

better beer.

better wine.

better sex.

better rules.

better people.

better laws.

better butter.

better economy.

better weather.

better husbands.

better wives.

better books.

better skin.

better hair.

better ideas.

better breath.

better human connections.

great sleep. up early. focused brain. clear heart. clear day. only one beer last night. one beer equals progress. one beer and some pills and I feel clear and alive and awake and ready for action.

stay focused.

stay clear.

remove distractions.

remove toxic people.

remove negativity.

remove bad energies and bad foods.

exercise daily but don’t allow it to take up too much time. stay on the path. stay on my path.

breathe.

be still and find out what I want to do with my life. i am fifty-five years old.

set clear goals and set actions to achieve those goals.

use my own mind. use my own heart.

have a plan. don’t wander aimlessly.

read books that make me think. read books that make me feel. read books that make me grow.

love.

inner peace and inner quiet.

it is hard to avoid distractions but we must avoid them. i must avoid them. useless news and useless culture. the culture of celebrity. fake people. fake smiles. fake teeth. fake hair. fake tits. fake friends. fake lives. phony and fake. fake and phony. we follow these people. we adore theses people. we look up to these people. facebook has exposed how depraved we are. how dull we are. how sick we are. how alone we are.

stupid memes and stupid games. stupid contests and stupid “copy and pastes”.

WHY ARE WE SO DULL?

WHAT HAPPENED TO LIVING?

WHAT HAPPENED TO EXCITEMENT?

WHAT HAPPENED TO EXPLORING?

WHAT HAPPENED TO LEARNING?

WHAT HAPPENED TO GROWING?

life just goes on. day after dreary day. forty becomes fifty. fifty becomes sixty. sixty becomes seventy. seventy becomes eighty. eight becomes ninety. ninety becomes one hundred.

what did you do with your life?

what was your purpose?

what was life all about for you?

REGRETS?

write. write. write. I am a writer with much to offer so WRITE!!! do not censor myself and write from the heart. write from the gut. observe. listen. love. create.

DO NOT LET THE MAGGOTS WIN.

heavy rains and heavy hearts as the world continues to crumble under bad systems with selfish toxic leaders. rich cunts with zero hearts and zero souls. dumb people should not be allowed to vote. rich and heartless people should not be allowed to vote either. the artists are the real leaders. real artists. NOT HOLLYWOOD PUPPETS AND GREEDY PUSSIES.

windy and rainy outside while Murphy lays beside me on the couch. blurry eyes and blurry goals. blurry dreams and a blurry heart. blocked and blurry. blurry and blocked. human beings gathering from all over the world to watch soccer in Qatar. the world is filled with amazing human beings with big hearts and big smiles. greedy ceo’s and greedy politicians trying, desperately, to keep their stranglehold on society but beginning to lose the battle. we need more passion. we need more anger. more strikes. more revolts. more revolutions.

THE TIME IS NOW.

JUST DO IT.

FIGHT THE SYSTEM.

FUCK THE SYSTEM.

CHALLENGE THE STATUS QUO.

FIGHT THE FUCKS.

FUCK THE PHONIES.

FUCK THEM AND FUCK YOU.

one life to live and this life is boring.

time to go.

time to do.

time to live.

time to create.

time to love.

time to be.

time to run.

time to write.

time to shit.

time to “FUCK THEM.”

time to “NOT LISTEN.”

time to own me.

time to win.

time to be me.

time to be free.

time is now.