notanotherphony.

tired. went to bed too late. too excited from a great day on set playing tennis. love playing tennis. too tired equals no fire. accept and get sleep tonight. keep going. keep fighting. relentlessly pursuing my goals. relentlessly growing. no time for sitting in boredom. move and shake. create. write. tell stories. my stories.

stories of lost youth and lost loved ones.

loss.

betrayal.

highs.

lows.

addictions.

fucks.

arrests.

deaths.

babies.

wives.

struggles.

family.

mental health struggles.

powerful stories about powerful people.

powerful stories about powerless people.

not powerful stories about fake people in power. FUCK THEM.

RICH PEOPLE AND THEIR FAKE ATTRIBUTES AND FAKE LIVES. FAKE WIVES. FAKE CREDENTIALS. FAKE ACCOLADES. FAKE CONFIDENCE. FAKE LIVES.

FUCK THEM.

FUCK THEM.

FUCK THEM.

BEAT THEM.

USE THEM.

DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO FUCK ME.

“can you hear me or are you tuning me out?”

lies and deception.

stuffy nose. always a stuffy nose. busy mind. always a busy mind.

restless.

restless.

restless.

want to make art.

want to challenge the status quo.

want my passion and fire back.

what do I care about?

what sets me on fire?

phony people and phony rules.

fake governments and fake smiles.

dull tv shows and dull movies.

passionless film sets and passionless stiffs.

where is the fire?

where is the passion?

where is the love?

where are the crazy ones?

everything has become dull and boring.

listless and factory work mentality.

paint by numbers.

do not offend.

do not be loud.

don’t scream.

DO’S AND DONT’S.

DON’T DO THIS.

DON’T DO THAT.

DON’T.

DON’T.

DON’T.

fucking rules for fucking peasants.

BORING.

DULL.

LISTLESS.

FAKE.

zero creativity.

zero fire.

zero passion.

zero heart.

zero soul.

FUCK EVERYONE.

FUCK EVERYONE.

FUCK EVERYONE.

FUCK THEM.

DO NOT PLAY THEIR GAME.

JUMP UP ANDN DOWN.

BE ALIVE.

BE REAL.

BE CRAZY.

BE BRAVE.

BE PASSIONATE.

BE IN THE MOMENT.

BE.

BE.

BE.

notanotherphony.

not a great sleep. mind busy. no money. no work. NO CHRISTMAS? life shouldn’t be so hard. art is great but money is needed. gym then coffee then walk Murphy then job search then write then eat then work at getting a job again. help is needed but is nowhere to be found. the moto of FUCK EVERYONE is much better than LOVE EVERYONE at the moment. i need to stand my ground. i need to own my process. own my opinions. know my worth.

PUSH.

PUSH.

PUSH.

WORK.

WORK.

WORK.

GO.

GO.

GO.

LET’S GO.

JUST DO IT!!!

hurry up and write.

hurry up and run.

hurry up and eat.

hurry up and walk Murphy.

everything is done in a hurry.

LIFE IS IN A HURRY.

SPEED UP WHEN NEEDED AND SLOW DOWN WHEN NEEDED.

BOUNDARIES.

SELF WILL.

SELF CONFIDENCE.

i am a warrior…i think.

CONNECT.

DO.

DO MORE WITH LESS.

CONNECT.

GET A JOB.

WRITE.

VLOG.

BLOG.

TELL STORIES.

MAKE FILMS.

GET A JOB.

DO NOT EVER GIVE UP. EVER.

TRY NOT TO DIE. EVER.

death.

interview today. went well. they always do. i can do anything I set my mind on but I never set my mind on anything. i don’t set goals so I don’t come up with an action plan. i need to know what I want before I can set goals. simplify life. get a job. stability helps. confidence comes from doing. get a job. connect. communicate. exercise. eat healthier. hustle. flow. hustle and flow. do. don’t sit.

ACTION.

ACTION.

ACTION.

move. try. connect. go. create. shake it off and shake it up.

search for jobs.

search for passions.

search for answers.

money equals stability.

no money equals stress and uncertainty.

surround myself with “movers and shakers”

innovators and artists.

unique people with unique jobs.

keep focused on getting focused.

morning routine and daily setting of goals.

OWN MY POWER.

OWN ME.

FUCK EVERYONE.

STAND UP AND STAND OUT.

keep searching.

keep looking.

keep connecting.

keep hopeful.

keep ready.

keep getting stronger.

KEEP LOVING.

YING AND YANG.

LOVE EVERYONE AND FUCK EVERYONE.

BE STILL. BE ACTIVE.

BIPOLAR.

ADHD.

MANIC.

HYPOMANIC.

ANXIETY DISORDER.

PHOBIAS.

NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER.

INTERMITTENT EXPLOSIVE BEHAVIOUR.

RAGE.

SHY.

NERVOUS.

COCKY.

CONFIDENT.

LOW SELF ESTEEM.

conquering FEARS.

listening to too many people.

reading too many self help books.

losing my fire.

losing my passion.

losing my confidence.

losing my hair.

losing my youth.

losing my joy.

losing my life.

WHAT SETS ME ON FIRE???

what am I passionate about?

what inspires me?

what excites me?

what bores me?

what sickens me?

what angers me?

PHONINESS INFURIATES ME.

BE A FIGHTER.

BE A WARRIOR.

DO NOT BE MEEK.

DO NOT BE WEAK.

DO NOT BE A GEEK.

DO NOT BE CALLED ZEKE.

dull shows with dull people.

fake and phony.

puffy and lonely.

losers…all of them.

and society watches these shows.

UTTERLY FUCKING EMBARRASSSING!!!