the weekend is over and now back to the grind that makes me little money and brings me little joy. the weekend was dull. they always are.
dog walks.
solo drinking.
solo sex.
gym.
cutting grass.
doing laundry.
cleaning house.
no money.
dull town.
zero conversations.
zero excitement.
not a recipe for success whatever success may be.
only two weeks left of this low paying job and then onto my next low paying job. a little better money but starting at 4am. the money still won’t fully pay off our monthly bills but we won’t go further into debt.
i am still looking for a guidance counsellor and still looking for love. i am worried. i live in a dull town. i work. i eat. i shower (sometimes). i drink. i read. i pop pills and then i go to bed.
I AM ALIVE. NOT.
LOOK AT ME. NOT.
FOLLOW ME. NOT.
genocide.
mass shootings.
war.
senseless deaths.
daily deaths.
gruesome deaths.
indespicable behaviour.
indescribable torture and pain.
rapes.
starvation.
the niceties of war and aggression.
poor people with no food.
poor people with no water.
poor people with no internet.
poor people with no homes.
poor people with no parents.
lost loved ones.
LOST SOULS.
LOST.
LOST.
LOST.
WHERE ARE YOU???
WHERE ARE YOU???
WHERE ARE YOU???
“i’m sorry chris. your dad didn’t make it.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
DON’T TRY.
DON’T TRY.
the people are fooled.
the people are fools.
go to bed.
kiss me goodnight.
you can do anything you want in this world.
you just need love and support and a whole lot of self love.
halloween is coming up. time to shut off the lights and hide downstairs.
no money to buy bad candy.
i guess i could hand out crab apples.
notanotherphony. 