cold. dreary. cloudy. perfect day. letting out stinky farts. purple tongue. cute girls at starbucks. always cute girls at starbucks. need a shit. too much wine AGAIN. too much food. too much wine and too much food leads to foggy mornings and less drive. less fire. less purpose.
crazy dreams for the last three nights. flabby belly. crazy dreams. i had a dream last night that i was fucking some random woman in some random skateboard shop. we were fucking while the employees watched.
“I KNEW YOU WERE BALD. THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS WHERE THAT HAT,” the fat old woman said to me.
i am getting old.
i am getting bored.
does life start taking a turn for the worse soon?
getting old is tough. trying to hang onto relevance. trying to hang onto HOPE.
getting older.
daughter is growing up way too fast. she is leaving soon to explore her life. where have all the years gone? living too much in the present and with zero planning for the future.
zero planning.
zero future?
zero money.
zero job.
zero confidence.
zero houses.
zero trips.
zero fucks.
zero parties.
ZERO.
ZERO.
ZERO.
i love the excitement of youth.
youthful girls.
youthful boys.
a whole life ahead of them.
planning where to go to school.
planning their careers.
planning life.
city living?
country living?
canada?
west coast?
east coast?
europe?
us?
planning.
I NEED TO MAKE A PLAN AND STICK TO IT.
I HAVE, STILL, YET TO SET A SINGLE GOAL.
this is why i sit alone on a shitty patio in a shitty parking lot in a shitty town.
i crave chaos.
i crave excitement.
i crave interesting talks with interesting people.
WHAT BROUGHT ME HERE?
WHY AM I HERE?
HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?
SET A FUCKING GOAL!!!
DO IT.
DO IT.
DO IT.
february 17, 1978.
september 24, 2005.
real people.
real stories.
real emotion.
notanotherphony. 