SHIT…OR SIGH.

I left my house with Rylee at 8:15am today.  Friday November 22, 2012.  twelve years since the supposed apocalypse.  twelve years closer to death. we took the elevator downstairs to P2.  “Daddy…I’ll race ya.”  “You’re too fast Rylee.”  then I run but Rylee runs faster.  I let her win.  she laughs.  so do I.  we jump in the car and leave for school.  Rylee’s.  not mine.
  we exit the building and the rain comes down.  dark.  cold.  early.  there is a re-mix on the radio and Rylee sings.  so do I.  I try to please her.  always try to please her.  “try” being the operative word.  we arrive at her school around 8:30am and I bring Rylee into the gymnasium where all the kids line up.  being taught to be followers at a young age.  I say “bye” to Rylee and give her a big kiss.  she says “bye” back and walks away with her friends.  I walk away alone to my car. 
  I jump in my car and head north to the 401.  destination…Port Hope…shoe appointment.  drive for one and a half hours without traffic.  a first for everything.  listen to sigur ros and think.  feel.  smile. reflect.  love driving by myself on long trips.  I have always been a dreamer.  one and a half hours later I arrive at Gould’s Footwear.  I find a parking spot and park.  put a toonie into the machine.  cash grab.  then I bring my samples to the store.  I show Julia the samples and she likes them.  so do I.  she gives me a lesson on my shoes.  I am a pretty face.  she then orders some shoes.  I pack up my shoes say “bye” and leave.  I stop in to see her husband John at another store and have a brief chat and then leave.  I walk past a few cute girls.  I look. they look back but nothing is said.  I am married and they probably have boyfriends.  life is filled with lessons and temptations.  regrets are bad.  especially when you are laying on your deathbed.  live life but respect humans who respect you. 
  I leave Port Hope and head to Peterborough.  music still on.  Triggy calls me to give me directions to Save Our Soles.  lucky for me.  we chat.  speaker phone.  we hang up and then I proceed.  sigur ros is soooooooooooooo good.  I stop for gas.  pay cash for once.  take a piss.  dirty bathroom and then leave.  I say “thanks.”  I always say “thanks.”
  I arrive in Peterborough an hour later.  I find a gas station and ask a young guy with a beard for directions.  he was thorough.  very thorough.  he gave me exact directions and I wanted to search for him afterwards to thanks him for being so precise.  we live in a world where people only care about themselves but he was not one of THEM.
  I found a parking spot in downtown Peterborough and once again put a toonie in the machine.  once again a cash grab.  I locked the car door and walked to Save Our Soles.  I arrived and saw Shelby.  she was busy but we said “hi” to each other.  she introduced me to some of her staff.  I then explained all the benefits of Red Wing Shoes.  there are many but the main one being MADE IN THE USA.  in a world filled with products being made on the cheap in china Red Wing boots are authentically made in the USA.  high quality.  authentic.  real.  just like me.  most boots are fake.  cheap.  low quality like most people.  Shelby asks her two managers to speak with me about Red Wing Shoes.  also about Daniel Wellington watches.  we speak.  laugh.  speak some more.  customers walking in and interrupting.  not on purpose.  good people.  small town.  is this where all the good ones are???
  after two hours I leave.  I awkwardly give Shelby a hug and then leave.  downtown Peterborough.  I walk back to my car in the rain.  look at all the real people.  angry but real.  I arrive at my car and see a yellow parking ticket.  do the maggots that work these types of jobs not have any fucking skill whatsoever to do anything different???  fucking peasants everywhere…even in small towns.  I drive away.  call Triggy.  she is upset about the ticket.  so am I.  I am hungry so I stop for a sub.  I am on a health kick.  I expect an overweight and unattractive girl behind the counter but instead I get a cute and friendly skinny girl.  life is full of surprises!!!  I eat my sub filled with veggies but then eat a bag of chips and a diet coke.  life.  I eat it all up and then take a piss in the dirty toilet.  I then leave.  I ask the owner of the sub shop (old and unattractive) for directions to the highway and she says, “go straight up Landsdowne and you will see it.”  I went straight up Lansdowne and never saw it.  lost but kept driving.  music still on.  rain still falling.  I eventually find hwy 7 and know that I am sort of on the right track.  I drive on.  sigur ros making me cry.
  I drive two hours on calm roadways in a calm state and eventually make it back to Toronto.  TRAFFIC.  ALWAYS FUCKING TRAFFIC.  Triggy calls and tells me her and Rylee are off to dance.  I wish Rylee luck and then rush to the liquor store for a bottle of wine.  I grab a cheap bottle of good wine and rush home.  hoping to get a quick run in.  feeling fat.  old.  ugly.  I don’t quite make it.  get home and then Triggy calls.  “we’re downstairs.  can you let us in?”  “sure.”  I walk down and let my two loves in.  they are happy.  so am I.  life filled with twists and turns.  we all walk to the elevator.  we enter the elevator with a black drug dealer.  i’m not racist just factual.  there are also white drug dealers but this drug dealer was black so I pointed it out.  he gets off on ground floor.  off to do a deal.  I have used drugs before.  probably will again.  we get to the tenth floor and get out.  we enter our condo and slam the door shut.  happily.  I will hate it when we all get older and see each other less and less.  eventually I will die and never see Rylee and Triggy ever again.  life is so great and so sad all at the same time.  SHIT…or SIGH.