look in the mirror and what do you see?

Thanksgiving weekend is almost over and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Had a great dinner at my father In Laws and ate too much and drank too much but I loved every minute of it. lots of great talks and lots of great laughs. human connection proving, once again, to be vital to my existence. vital to my life. vital to my enjoyment. why would anyone not want to connect with other human beings? although there are many dull people with dull opinions and dull lives there are exciting people also. exciting people with exciting opinions and exciting lives. life can be so beautiful. life is such a gift. such a shame if not lived fully and not lived completely. my reference to the Tragically Hip. Gord Downie taken much too soon like many other’s have been taken much too soon. get out and live. live now. what are you waiting for? tragedy will rear it’s ugly head at some point so, before it does, enjoy your life. connect. have fun. enjoy. breathe in everything life has to offer. I sound like I am preaching but if I am it really is only to myself. I am guilty of many things and one of those things is NOT living my life to it’s fullest. waiting for a miracle to come my way. waiting for life to guide me. waiting for life to change for me. waiting for life to be better. more fun. less stress. more love. less hate. waiting and waiting and waiting while life continues on. life always continues on until one day it doesn’t and you lay there on the ground motionless and alone. hoping for just one more day but that “one more day” is gone. the clock is ticking. I need a manual clock. digital clocks are NOT GREAT for someone with adhd. I don’t know why but they aren’t. but I look around my room and I don’t have a manual clock. i see many books. I see many notebooks. I see a coffee mug and a toque and my digital watch and a tripod but I don’t see a manual clock. I am now hot again and need to go for a run. it is a beautiful day outside. I had an early morning dog walk with a friend who BARKS AND BARKS about how miserable he is BUT he doesn’t do anything about it. everyday the same old walk and everyday the same old talk. he is a nice guy with lots of frustrations. he is in his sixties and retired and I think he sees the mistakes that he has made over the years. so he sits in regret and he sits in frustration but he is rather healthy and able to make changes but he chooses not to. he is STUCK. I have been STUCK. being STUCK is not a great feeling. but there is still time to become UNSTUCK. look in the mirror and make the necessary changes. for some it is easier than other’s. who knows what this man is dealing with? who knows his demons? who knows his struggles? every human being is different. i think the key is to talk about your struggles. talk about your demons. talk to someone you trust. love. find someone who is filled with love. filled with empathy. life can be difficult. do not do it alone. open up and let go. I am stuffed. I need to run. my dog still sits at my feet. i feel bad leaving him but why do I feel bad? my wife and daughter are home. i can be such a sappy guy at times. other times I lack empathy. sometimes I am judgmental. other times I am loving. and then sometimes I am a pig. or maybe I used to be a pig but now I have matured. now I have grown. now I am just old.