homesick.

six days of sun and six days of booze have taken it’s toll on me. i am tired. shaky. achy. restless and rundown. i am looking forward to returning to my boring town in a boring country. maybe boring is good for me. my face is pulsating. my arms are tired. sweating constantly. one more day and I’ll be back in my own bed with my own family. i sit in my room and hear screaming kids. i write a sentence and then stop to take a break. i am looking at empty wine bottles and they are not inspiring me. i want to stop. i need to stop. i need a break. the sun is shining and the kids are screaming. i am homesick. “BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.” i never believed that statement. but after a week away from my family and a week away from my dog and a week away from unpredictable weather I am counting down the minutes until I get back home. LOVE. i miss LOVE. i miss clarity. i miss routine. i miss peace. I miss quiet. maybe LOVE EVERYONE IS BETTER THAN FUCK EVERYONE. maybe living up north in the country is what I need. maybe peace and quiet is better for me. i know longer seek wild nights and deadly mornings. i know longer look for the biggest party and the drunkest girls. i want to hug Taylor. i want to hug Sarah. i want to cuddle Murphy. i want rain. i want snow. i want clouds.

there are two more bottles of wine on the table but I want a beer instead. just one ice cold tall beer. sipping it slowly. a water may be better. ice cold water. ice cold beer. NO MORE WINE!!!

the weekend crowd has arrived at the hotel. lots of people. lots of noise.

my fingers seem to be hairier than before this trip.

I AM NOT MADE FOR THE SUN.