didn’t drink last night. first time in a long time. it was becoming a habit. drinking every night out of boredom. drinking alone. alone and drinking. what started out as one became three and, then, pretty soon the whole bottle. red wine my drink of choice. feeling foggy every morning. brain fog. brain cells deteriorating. eating shitty foods and jerking off too much. one bad habit always leads to more bad habits. get control of my life. i need to take control of my life. feel better. look better. mind clearer. body healthier. more confidence. more energy. more open. more emotional. more money.
a shitty sleep but that happens sometimes. i was using booze to sleep and now it is only sleeping pills and meditation. sleeping pills, meditation, and chamomile tea. didn’t work last night. mind still way too busy. my goal this week is to slow down my mind.
daily meditation.
daily writing.
daily stretching.
daily routine.
LIVE LIFE.
sitting. thinking. trying to come up with something to write.
DON’T DO IT.
DO IT.
DON’T DO IT.
DO IT.
mind racing.
what to say?
what to do?
who to do?
who to sue?
SUE?
YOU?
DO?
POO?
IS IT TRUE?
DOES SHE HAVE THE FLU?
or did you want to go to the zoo?
BOO!!!!
halloween today. i hate it now. spending hundreds of dollars that we don’t have on useless candies that the kids don’t need.
useless costumes.
useless traditions.
suburbs.
i hate the suburbs.
so dull.
so uninspiring.
so vanilla.
so typical.
typical families and typical jobs.
typical costumes and typical trucks.
typical routines and typical dogs.
DULL BUT I AM ALIVE!!!
notanotherphony. 