taylor’s birthday today. her 19th birthday. i miss her soooo much. i miss her smile. i miss her energy. i miss her laugh. i miss her kindness. i miss her love. i even miss her complaining. as always, we never realize what we have until they are gone and it is no different with taylor. i took for granted her time at home. i took for granted our family dinners. i took for granted our car rides. i took for granted our city outings. i took for granted our talks and our hugs and our hikes. i took for granted everything that taylor brought and everything that taylor is and now she is thriving out west and i miss her. she is the single best thing to ever be a part of my life.
why couldn’t i ever slow down enough to sit with her and talk with her and play with her and laugh with her and cry with her and just be with her?
life has been so difficult for me that i have spent my time and my life trying to find jobs that make me enough money to live. enough money to survive. trying to fix myself and my past trauma’s and mental health issues to, then, attempt to get good jobs. life passing by. people passing by. moments passing by. family passing by. love passing by. too many struggles to live peacefully and to live harmoniously.
i’m 57 and still searching.
i’m 57 and still broke.
i’m 57 and still lost.
i’m 57 and still in physical pain.
i’m 57 and still in mental pain.
HOW CAN I HELP OTHERS WHILE ALSO FIXING MYSELF?
DO I NEED FIXING OR ACCEPTANCE?
how can i help you?
how can i help you?
how can i help you?
please tell me anything.
please tell me everything.
please tell me about you.
THE REAL YOU.
NO MASKS.
NO FEAR.
BE REAL.
BE VULNERABLE.
I LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY.
my mom is 87 and i really don’t know much about her life.
my dad died at 36 and i never really knew too much about his life.
i want taylor to know me and i want to know her.
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TAYLOR.
I LOVE YOU.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO.
notanotherphony. 