still no talks with my wife.
still no formal apology.
still no respect.
still no urgency to discuss our lives.
bad shows and scrolling phones.
cleaning up and working.
that is her life.
avoidance and holding on.
zero vulnerability.
zero sharing.
zero discussions.
head to the ground and grind out a life.
I NO LONGER WANT TO DO THAT.
my body continues to be in pain and no one seems to care.
my wife tells me that all of my pain and all of my illnesses are my own fault.
where is the empathy?
where is the humanity?
where is the mother?
typical response from a cold person.
always cold to me.
never fully supported me.
i am sure she loves me but it rarely shows and, more importantly, i rarely feel it.
similar to when i was a kid.
I AM LOVED WITH CONDITIONS.
make money.
get a stable job.
don’t go out much.
don’t drink too much (she won’t stop me).
walk murphy.
stay home.
conditional love.
what happened to unconditional love?
i am sick of pleasing people.
i am sick of living someone else’s idea of my life.
i am sick of listening to dull people tell dull stories over and over and over again.
i am sick of rules and rule followers.
i am sick and tired of living in a small town in a dull town in a faraway town and in a redneck town.
TAKE MY LIFE BACK.
notanotherphony. 