Author: notanotherphony

woke up exhausted.

no drinking yesterday after a seven day binge of beer and red wine.

boredom and more boredom being the culprit for my demise.

tired but ready to get back on track.

tired but ready to set up my daily goals.

tired but ready to take action to achieve those goals.

small steps on the road to recovery.

recovery from what i do not know.

booze addiction?

sex addiction?

boredom?

insanity?

insecurity?

stuck in quick sand and, despite numerous psychotherapists and numerous medications, i am still STUCK in boredom and STUCK IN LIFE.

my dog lays at the foot of my bed on my left foot.

MY LEFT FOOT.

second coffee of the day.

no food yet.

no water yet.

WHAT DO I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE THAT IS QUICKLY PASSING BY AT A RAPID RATE?

KNOW MY WORTH.

KNOW MY WORTH.

KNOW MY WORTH.

WAR IS SENSELESS.

LOVE IS MEANINGFUL.

IS SEX BAD?

it will be sad when we all die?

never seeing loved ones grow up.

so much trauma in the world.

how can we get our leaders to stop wars?

how can we get our leaders to stop genocide?

how can we get our leaders to embrace love and embrace vulnerability?

why don’t we want to heal?

what do we want?

GO.

GO.

GO.

don’t let small minds and small spirits stop you.

more shoulder pain.

more arm pain.

more neck pain.

painful body.

healthier habits.

healthier eating.

healthier routines.

mindfulness.

awareness.

create.

avoid.

jobs.

what jobs are out there?

what jobs do i want to do?

where do i want to live?

what excites me?

soup.

make soup.

eat soup.

soups of all kinds.

soup and sandwich.

sandwich and soup.

lessen the carbs.

lighten the body.

BE LIGHT.

BE FREE.

listen to my body.

listen to my gut.

avoid negativity.

avoid energy suckers.

BE ALIVE.

BE FREE.

blogs.

vlogs.

podcasts.

films.

books.

poetry.

create.

create.

create.

WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?

today my shoulders are sore again.

i’m tired.

went to bed too late.

jerked off too late.

awareness faltering yesterday.

back to the basics.

leafs lost…ho hum.

last day of work for the week.

creaking door.

tired eyes.

too much HATE and too much blindness in the world.

blind to the bloodshed.

complicit in their behaviour.

i am human.

i am humane.

war.

what is it good for?

absolutely nothing.

need to get a smoothie today but they are soooo expensive so i should make one at home.

i will take a nap today.

a legitimate nap.

stretch and restore.

daily yoga poses.

daily meditation.

awareness. why are my shoulders so sore?

healthy body, mind, and soul.

stretch.

stretch.

stretch.

take muscle relaxants.

so many pills.

so many issues.

so little money.

so little time.

so many time wasters.

so few inspirations.

hang with the crazy ones.

talk with the creative ones.

be active.

be alive.

be present.

be real.

be authentic.

be empathetic.

be crazy.

be me.

be.

stories.

stories.

stories.

please tell stories.

no energy to speak with anyone yesterday. some days i can do it. other days i have to hide. i have less and less patience these days.

small talk bores me.

zionists bore me.

motivational speakers bore me.

work bores me.

i am limited on what doesn’t bore me.

i must find those things.

i am struggling to find the right pillow for sleeping. thick ones hurt my neck. my “pancake” one hurts my arms. i have decided to go with the “pancake” pillow.

it didn’t hurt me for ten years so there is some factual evidence to base my decision on.

when i’m at the gym i see old men with saggy balls. why don’t my balls sag? mine are tight and almost non-existent. they seem to be disappearing. is my sex drive finally slowing down? am i becoming too aware? too conscious? too understanding? too empathetic?

left side of my neck is stiff and sore.

right side is good.

arms feel better.

gym today for sure.

just a steam.

long walk.

long meditation.

long stretching session.

long conversations.

long laughter.

long life.

long days.

long nights.

longing for more.

searching for more.

understanding more.

feeling less?

feeling more?

less is more?

back to the breath.

always back to the breath.

taylor … i love you.