alarm goes off at 5:30am. jump out of bed. stuffy nose. murphy beside me. make a coffee. blow my nose. mind a little foggy. zoloft, zoplicone and three drinks allowed me to get a good night’s sleep but i am still tired. still lost. still confused. still restless. still searching. still watching my life fade away.
i want to run.
i want to hide.
i want to run to the hills.
i want to glide.
wanting and hoping instead of making decisions and doing.
living in a dull town for ten years and still no change. useless conversations and useless events and useless rules and useless jobs.
useless. useless. useless. harsh word. “you are a useless human being.” harsh. harsh?
useless coaches.
useless teachers.
useless politicians.
useless managers.
useless systems.
useless experts.
most people.
most jobs.
most houses.
most lives.
get a job.
work hard.
stay in school.
get married.
buy a house.
live in the suburbs.
get a dog.
do your taxes.
shave.
don’t offend.
write but write about happy things.
power of positivity.
breathe.
allow.
surrender.
let go.
don’t do drugs.
don’t be angry.
don’t fight.
don’t argue.
don’t hang yourself while masturbating.
don’t.
do’s.
the do’s and don’ts of life.
who made up these rules?
is anyone truly happy following these rules?
the clock is ticking.
hoping for another week of my life to go by so i can live two exciting days on the weekend.
another useless concept.
another dumb rule.
rules and regulations.
clock ticking.
wrinkles appearing.
grey hair.
grey beard.
tired eyes.
sore feet.
busy mind.
purpose?
passion?
joy?
what a wonderful world.
notanotherphony. 