notanotherphony.

a terrible sleep last night.

shoulders in pain.

arms in pain.

is there no way to fix this?

do i have to continue to live in pain?

our healthcare system has crumbled.

why has it gotten so bad?

has it been the years and years of cutbacks?

years and years of letting in too many immigrants too quickly without the infrastructure to match?

there must be a reason.

there must be answers.

why do we never find out the truth?

another shitty audition sent my way.

another hallmark movie.

SICK.

why do we produce such garbage?

who watches such garbage?

i have zero desire to audition for this shit and the producers have zero desire to see me.

i will decline.

too many useless and shitty auditions.

too many useless and shitty shows.

too many fake looking people and too much fake cgi.

this industry should be embarrassed with itself.

COOKIE CUTTER FLUFF.

but nobody calls out this fluff because they don’t want to offend anyone and, potentially, lose work.

why do people watch this shit?

are we bombarded with shit so we watch shit?

sort of like mcdonald’s and pizza pizza and boston pizza and tim horton’s and walmart and the list goes on and on and on.

SHEEP.

SHEEP.

SHEEP.

why is triggy sick again?

i hope that i don’t get sick.

i am on a good kick of feeling better.

starting to exercise again.

knee beginning to feel better.

right medications.

a better daily routine.

a better mindset.

a better focus.

more energy.

more accountability.

FIGHT FOR WHAT I WANT.

FIGHT FOR WHAT I BELIEVE.

BE FIT.

BE ACTIVE.

BE FREE.

BE ME.

see?

i am not so bad after all.

not a great sleep.

tossing and turning.

shoulders and arms still bothering me.

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

6am.

murphy beside me.

first day of discipline with my habits. with my intentions.

growth.

growth mindset.

a little stuffed up but that usually goes away as the day goes away.

stay focused.

stay disciplined.

stay committed.

i need a massage.

i cannot go on too much longer with my arms and shoulders being so sore. so tight.

it is very peaceful outside at the moment.

triggy’s alarm is going off.

she sets it way too early for herself.

she always hits the snooze button a bunch of times before actually waking up.

i don’t like getting old.

saddens me.

lost youth and lost hair.

lost confidence and lost friends.

aches and pains and fears and constantly stuck in quicksand.

unable to make decisions.

afraid of the results.

afraid of change.

AFRAID.

so i sit in nothingness.

no hobbies.

no friends.

no fun.

dull.

dull town.

dull life.

no hope.

no money.

no plans.

no sex.

no love?

i hate getting old with no money.

MAKE LIFE FUN AGAIN.

create.

ship.

create more.

ship more.

publish my blogs.

publish my books.

stay committed.

stay true to my cause.

what is my cause?

CHALLENGE THE STATUS QUO.

CHALLENGE THE STATUS QUO.

CHALLENGE THE STATUS QUO.

life.

loss.

love.

and then it is over.

loved ones left behind.

loved ones always left behind.

love?

are you there?

or are you buried underground?

why do all of the conspiracy theorists follow the same script?

they are bigger sheep than the sheep they ctiticize.

every single one of them thinks trudeau should be in jail (they all should – all politicians).

but they don’t think that doug ford or trump or mike duffy or stephen harper or benjamin netanyahu should be in jail.

they all think that the moon landing was fake.

they all think that covid was a hoax.

they love the farmers protest and the trucker convoy.

bill gates is evil.

they tend to be nationalists and love standing for the national anthems and if you critique our country or “disrespect the flag” then you are a disgrace.

THIS ANGERS THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD.

they all follow the same handbook of bullshit.

they are dull and predictable.

loud.

obnoxious.

“always right.”

arrogant in their beliefs and believed superior knowledge.

SHEEP.

SHEEP.

SHEEP.

but why?

what makes them so susceptible to lies and losers like trump and poillievre?

they search for stupid memes.

they search for crazy theories.

they search for the absurd all the while bashing those “who do not do their research”.

jack tait needs to come back.

jack tait needs a resurgence.

jack tait needs love.

JACK WILL BE BACK.

write stories.

tell stories.

make films.

powerful stories and powerful films.

the human condition over fantasy fluff.

our society is a sick celebrity worshipping bunch of puppets and sheep.

so are the conspiracy theorists.

shoulders still in pain.

knee slowly starting to feel better.

threw up last night.

acid reflux rearing it’s ugly head.

signs.

signs.

signs.

unsure about straterra. i am constantly tired and my motivation has waned. it might be time to go back to concerta. constant switching. constant uncertainty.

go back to the basics.

good morning routine.

good habits.

healthy eating.

good sleep.

repeat.

repeat.

repeat.

GET HEALTHY.

GET HEALTHIER.

birds are chirping. spring is coming.

new hopes.

new dreams.

set a plan.

set a focus.

set goals.

set actions for those goals.

commit.

and do.

repeat.

repeat.

repeat.

art and commerce.

commerce and art.

storytelling.

stories.

real.

notanotherphony.

challenge the status quo. challenge with a purpose.

meditate but stay hungry.

stay committed.

stay passionate.

BUILD MY WEBSITE.

DO NOT WASTE TIME.

TIME IS NOW.

i’m not sure where to start or even how to start so i am just going to start writing. start talking. i’m almost fifty-seven years old. poor. no assets aside from a beautiful daughter and a beautiful wife who has caused me both elation and frustration over the more than twenty years that i have known her. it’s a testament to our love and our humanity that we are still together. most people would have bailed long ago but we both know that “bailing” not only hurts each other but it also causes unnecessary stress and trauma on our kids. not exactly the same as having your mom or dad die but it is not so different. one day you have two parents and the next day you have one. kids are resilient but they are not without emotions. not without feelings. not without love.

my dad died, suddenly, one night when i was ten. he was thirty-six. he collapsed on the gym floor at a public school in north york while coaching a soccer team filled with seven year olds. my brother was on the team but he didn’t go to that particular practice as he had a birthday party to go to. i normally went and helped out but because my brother didn’t go my dad didn’t want to come all the way home to unionville to pick me up. he went straight to the gym after work. we never saw him again. he died from a brain hemorrhage.

february 17, 1978.

divorce.

death.

kids left behind.

the trauma that many kids experience is sad and upsetting.

but as many people tell you.

as many people tell us.

LIFE GOES ON.