loves and lack of money.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

i never have money.

even when i have money i feel that i don’t have money.

i do not ever have enough income coming in to put me in a feeling of security.

i want to make more money but i haven’t figured out how to do that yet.

my back is sore and i know that i need new shoes but i am worried about spending two hundred dollars to get them.

my knees and my hips are also sore.

i need some new pants too.

i need physio as well.

i would love to go on a trip.

i don’t care about cars or houses.

i would love to go out for dinners and not worry about my bank account.

i love art.

i love music.

i love real films.

i love baseball. do i?

i love hockey.

i love tennis.

i love football.

i love soccer.

i love running.

i love camping.

i love hiking.

i love fucking. i think?

i can’t remember the last time that i fucked (made love).

i love my wife.

i love my daughter.

i love my brother.

i love my mom.

i love my friends and my family.

i love my dog.

life is continuing to tick away.

more people from my youth are dying.

more family members .

more icons.

more sports personalities.

wars and genocide continue to rage on and most of us (myself included) have become numb to the atrocities.

such sad and weak men running and ruining our world.

if you think trump is the answer to leading our world to a better place then you may need to look in the mirror and ask why?

do you not witness his rambling nonsensical speeches?

do you not hear his racist attacks?

do you not see his inability to be coherent?

do you not see his utter arrogance?

do you not see his lies and his pettiness?

do you really think his brand of bullying, lying, racist remarks, misogyny, and corruption will lead america to a better place?

SUCH A SAD MAN.

SUCH A PATHETIC MAN.

SUCH A WEAK MAN.

i am tired.

random thoughts and soup.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

more shoulder pain.

more arm pain.

more neck pain.

painful body.

healthier habits.

healthier eating.

healthier routines.

mindfulness.

awareness.

create.

avoid.

jobs.

what jobs are out there?

what jobs do i want to do?

where do i want to live?

what excites me?

soup.

make soup.

eat soup.

soups of all kinds.

soup and sandwich.

sandwich and soup.

lessen the carbs.

lighten the body.

BE LIGHT.

BE FREE.

listen to my body.

listen to my gut.

avoid negativity.

avoid energy suckers.

BE ALIVE.

BE FREE.

blogs.

vlogs.

podcasts.

films.

books.

poetry.

create.

create.

create.

WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?

WAR.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

today my shoulders are sore again.

i’m tired.

went to bed too late.

jerked off too late.

awareness faltering yesterday.

back to the basics.

leafs lost…ho hum.

last day of work for the week.

creaking door.

tired eyes.

too much HATE and too much blindness in the world.

blind to the bloodshed.

complicit in their behaviour.

i am human.

i am humane.

war.

what is it good for?

absolutely nothing.

need to get a smoothie today but they are soooo expensive so i should make one at home.

i will take a nap today.

a legitimate nap.

stretch and restore.

daily yoga poses.

daily meditation.

awareness. why are my shoulders so sore?

healthy body, mind, and soul.

stretch.

stretch.

stretch.

take muscle relaxants.

so many pills.

so many issues.

so little money.

so little time.

so many time wasters.

so few inspirations.

hang with the crazy ones.

talk with the creative ones.

be active.

be alive.

be present.

be real.

be authentic.

be empathetic.

be crazy.

be me.

be.

stories.

stories.

stories.

please tell stories.

long sagging balls.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

no energy to speak with anyone yesterday. some days i can do it. other days i have to hide. i have less and less patience these days.

small talk bores me.

zionists bore me.

motivational speakers bore me.

work bores me.

i am limited on what doesn’t bore me.

i must find those things.

i am struggling to find the right pillow for sleeping. thick ones hurt my neck. my “pancake” one hurts my arms. i have decided to go with the “pancake” pillow.

it didn’t hurt me for ten years so there is some factual evidence to base my decision on.

when i’m at the gym i see old men with saggy balls. why don’t my balls sag? mine are tight and almost non-existent. they seem to be disappearing. is my sex drive finally slowing down? am i becoming too aware? too conscious? too understanding? too empathetic?

left side of my neck is stiff and sore.

right side is good.

arms feel better.

gym today for sure.

just a steam.

long walk.

long meditation.

long stretching session.

long conversations.

long laughter.

long life.

long days.

long nights.

longing for more.

searching for more.

understanding more.

feeling less?

feeling more?

less is more?

back to the breath.

always back to the breath.

taylor … i love you.

aging without torture.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

TGIF.

i’ve always hated that term.

THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY.

people wishing their weekday lives away so they can get to the weekend and enjoy two days of chores before going back to the drudgery of their work lives. it doesn’t make sense. it never made sense.

GET A JOB YOU LIKE.

these same people wish their lives away to get to the magical age of sixty-five so they can retire and enjoy their lives.

sad.

i am bald. accept it.

accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can.

i just need to buzz my hair.

be like michael stipe.

done.

why try to look ugly?

keep breathing.

keep stretching.

keep reading.

keep loving.

healthy mind and body.

accept that i am married and that i have a daughter and that i am fifty-seven years old.

younger women do not find me attractive anymore.

i can be charming.

i can be talented.

i can be passionate.

i can be interesting.

i am not attractive to younger women. most women are younger than me. this is a problem.

getting older.

getting wiser?

getting old is not easy.

letting go of some great times with great friends.

can i even get hard anymore?

is it the meds?

is it age?

i am off the meds and hard again.

it was the meds.

my balls are literally shrinking though.

get healthy now or the next twenty years will be torture.

meditate.

yoga.

water.

healthy food.

exercise.

create.

love.

listen.

BE PRESENT AND CONNECT.