life continuing to move forward. continuing to move at a faster and faster pace. i was, once, a ten year old happy kid playing hockey and soccer with my friends. two young parents. two grandmothers and one old lonely grandfather. now i am fifty-six years old with no grandmothers, no grandfathers, and no Dad. i still have a Mom but who knows for how long. the circle of life. i have one wife and one beautiful daughter. i have a younger brother but he has his own family and life isn’t as easy as it once was. i miss my childhood friends and childhood hockey and soccer teams. i miss my Dad. i miss my old schools and miss my old girlfriends. i have lost friends due to cancer and car accidents and other traumatic events. i miss our fun times together and our crazy times together. lots of parties. lots of drinking. lots of drugs. lots of fucks and lots of fun.
i somehow someway managed to end up living in a small dull town north of toronto where big loud trucks are everywhere and cyclists and walkers are nowhere. lots of shitty beer and lots of shitty homes. shitty bars and shitty dogs with annoying barks and annoying owners. i am a slave to my dog and a slave to my wife. i am a slave to the system and a slave to my bank account. stuck doing very little while others post daily pics of their trips to spain, cayman islands, greece, italy, and australia. there are numerous wars going on with numerous children dying and numerous women and men also dying. horrific acts of evil to go along with horrific acts of greed. while some are planning weddings on the moon others are waking up under a brown box under a dirty highway looking for any scraps of food they can find in the nearest garbage can. the world is definitely a messed up place where we can connect with random strangers from random countries but we choose to ignore atrocities and ignore the less fortunate. we watch bad hollywood movies and listen to bad hollywood music. we revere fake celebrities and ignore intellectuals like Noam Chomsky and Chris Hedges. we worry about AI but most of us have already lost our hearts and lost our souls. we are robots in human skin. lack of empathy. lack of humour. lack of intelligence. lack of fire. lack of purpose. why is our world so broken? why do we give in to the system and give in to the rules made up by old rich white men? rules that favour them and their elite friends but offer up nothing of value except overpriced homes and fake money? stock markets and investors. traders and speculators. WHAT A SYSTEM OF BULLSHIT.
it is sunny outside. people are smiling. families are torn apart and life continues to move forward. tomorrow it is supposed to be sunny again. i still miss my Dad. i also miss my daughter. i hope she is doing well and living life to her fullest. we lack money but we don’t lack love. other families lack love but they don’t lack money. i wish there could be some sort of balance. some sort of equality. we never really do know when we are going to die and we never really do know when we are going to fall in love or fall out of love. and what is love? unconditional love? i think i was born at the wrong time. i don’t like where our society is now nor do i see it getting better without major shifts by major protesters fed up with all the lies and all the deception. why do we put politicians on pedestals? why are people’s flags at half mast? i think we need real art. i also think we need business. but when one becomes dominant while the other becomes invisible we lose. we cannot live life as one big business. we have so many highly intelligent people in our world so why is our world in shambles? why are there still wars raging and children starving? mass shootings and mass poverty? mass murders and mass depression? daily suicides and daily murders. daily diseases and daily tortures. daily caucus meetings and daily deceptions.
confusion.
chaos.
lack of empathy and lack of respect.
lack of good leaders and lack of knowledge.
lack of listening and lack of love.
we have an overabundance of needless gadgets and an underabundance of empathy and love.
i wish things would be better.
i hope we can make things better for our kids.
family is most important to me.
family is not most important to others.
life is not easy.
but if you can’t get love from your family then who do you get it from?
abandoned little child. i feel for you.
notanotherphony. 