had a great day on set yesterday. i woke up early and had a coffee. on my drive down to the shoot i stopped for an extra large chamomile tea. it always helps me with my nerves. i am still working on my anxiety issues and busy mind.
i fought with negative thoughts all week.
i finally realized that my goal is NOT to land more gigs or get a better job or start a new career. my goal is to get healthier in my mind, body, and spirit.
THAT IS MY ONE GOAL.
i arrived at base camp and saw my name (character name) on my trailer door. i walked in and set my bag down and got dressed for my one scene. the trailer AD came by and asked if i wanted breakfast etc. i said, “yes” and ordered sausage and eggs with hashbrowns plus another chamomile tea. she was very friendly. i was continuing to do my deep breathing. my food arrived along with my chamomile tea. i took two or three shits due to my anxiety and nerves. i was okay being nervous. i am working on acceptance and learning how to best cope with excessive anxiety and worry. after my shits i put on my headphones and listened to yin yoga music and laid down on the couch. i was nervous but breathing and, actually, quite calm.
i, then, went to hair and make up and everyone was pleasant and friendly. my nerves had lessened dramatically. after hair and make up was complete it was time to go to set. i rode in the shuttle bus with the two other actors in my scene. they were young and friendly. so far, a really good experience.
we all arrived to set and hopped out of the shuttle. the crew were all ready to shoot our scene. i spoke with the director briefly. she was sooo kind and chill. i also spoke with the first AD. he was an older guy like myself. he was also a great guy like myself. hahaha
we blocked our scene and then ran it. first take went well. a few adjustments from our director and then we ran it again. it went well again and then a few more adjustments. we ran the scene about thirty-six times in total and i nailed it every time. the writer, director, and producers all complimented me on my performance. i felt so calm. so relaxed. so present. i came and delivered and then went home.
a very successful day on set.
i must continue to work on my mindset.
i must continue to work on my health.
i must continue to work on my spiritual growth.
THAT IS MY GOAL.
ONE DAY AT A TIME.
GROWTH MINDSET.
i am still broke though.
notanotherphony. 