notanotherphony.

a better sleep last night but still not great for the amount of sleeping pills that i am taking.

GET CBD OIL.

still fighting this nagging illness.

feeling better than yesterday but have to stay on top of this.

a whole mind and body shift and awareness.

i am what i eat.

eat healthier.

kale for my smoothies.

kale.

bananas.

pineapple.

maybe even blueberries.

I AM SUCH A GOOD WRITER!!!

lots of water.

vitamin c.

less booze.

more meditation.

more incense.

more yoga.

i need a deep release massage.

i need physio.

i need a psychotherapist.

i need a dad.

life is much tougher without money.

where can i get more money?

how can i make more money?

i am good at almost anything i do so i need to sit down, relax, and figure out what i would LOVE TO DO.

less physical labour and more human interaction labour.

KNOW THY STRENGTHS.

TIME MANAGEMENT.

really focus on TIME MANAGEMENT.

one hour tasks.

break down the day into smaller increments.

I AM NOT LIVING MY BEST LIFE AT THE MOMENT.

why am i always sick?

i must fix my knee.

i must loosen up my shoulders and back.

relaxation methods.

massage.

yoga.

meditation.

stretches.

zen buddhism.

zen buddhism.

zen buddhism.

allow and surrender.

must suffer to understand empathy.

still no sleep.

still can’t sleep.

sore knee.

sore shoulders.

adhd.

meds.

meds.

meds.

no money for physio.

no money for vacations.

no money for dinners.

no money for my daughter.

living paycheck to paycheck in a job that bores me and forces me to wake up at 3am everyday.

TIME FOR A CHANGE.

what to do?

how to do it?

research.

ask around.

brainstorm ideas.

real concrete ideas.

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.

get better.

get healthier.

sore.

sore.

sore.

FUCK THE PHONIES.

FUCK THE PHONIES.

FUCK THE PHONIES.

i’m surrounding myself with the wrong people.

i need artists. real artists. not fluffy puppets who bow down to rich corporate producers and shitty showrunners.

I AM AN ARTIST.

BE ONE.

drink water.

drink wine.

turning holy water into wine.

god…are you still there?

why can’t i shake this illness?

what illness do i have?

so much technology and not enough money to take advantage of it.

ohhh…i almost forgot…HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY.

woke up exhausted.

no drinking yesterday after a seven day binge of beer and red wine.

boredom and more boredom being the culprit for my demise.

tired but ready to get back on track.

tired but ready to set up my daily goals.

tired but ready to take action to achieve those goals.

small steps on the road to recovery.

recovery from what i do not know.

booze addiction?

sex addiction?

boredom?

insanity?

insecurity?

stuck in quick sand and, despite numerous psychotherapists and numerous medications, i am still STUCK in boredom and STUCK IN LIFE.

my dog lays at the foot of my bed on my left foot.

MY LEFT FOOT.

second coffee of the day.

no food yet.

no water yet.

WHAT DO I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE THAT IS QUICKLY PASSING BY AT A RAPID RATE?

KNOW MY WORTH.

KNOW MY WORTH.

KNOW MY WORTH.

WAR IS SENSELESS.

LOVE IS MEANINGFUL.

IS SEX BAD?

it will be sad when we all die?

never seeing loved ones grow up.

so much trauma in the world.

how can we get our leaders to stop wars?

how can we get our leaders to stop genocide?

how can we get our leaders to embrace love and embrace vulnerability?

why don’t we want to heal?

what do we want?

GO.

GO.

GO.

don’t let small minds and small spirits stop you.