notanotherphony.

stuffy nose but great sleep. murphy laying beside me. love. unconditional love. bored. run today. coffee today. write today. read today. more coffee. dog walk. cut the grass. clean the house. bored. drink. maybe a hike. the highlight of my day. maybe visit my mom. maybe visit my brother. maybe go to tom’s.

maybe.

maybe.

maybe.

long drives to get anywhere. maybe i’ll cook a nice dinner. no i can’t because my family won’t eat it. they have something against me BUT i POWER through.

life not slowing down.

avoidance.

avoidance of love.

avoidance of purpose.

avoidance of talks.

dull.

boring.

bored.

old age comes fast.

some are old when they’re young.

wasted lives and wasted youth.

brilliant ideas going to waste.

my follow up or my follow through on ideas isn’t or aren’t as good as my ideas. need to slow down and do one thing at a time.

social media work.

website work.

blog work.

youtube work.

finding out how to publish books work.

simple and clear.

slow down.

make lists.

cross things off of the list.

repeat.

consistency is key.

sara has become dull.

blocked heart and a blocked soul.

scared.

afraid.

afraid and scared.

WE WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF US.

FUCK THEM.

DO.

BE.

BE REAL.

BEAUTIFUL DAYS.

BROKEN HEARTS.

SUICIDE.

“YOU’RE ALIVE???”

“love you.”

“love you too.”

out the door she goes to get Taylor. bring Taylor to work. then back home. sick. tired. sick and tired. my bum is wet. i don’t want to walk with bob but if i don’t walk with bob then murphy doesn’t get a good walk.

torn.

twisted.

tongue tied and twisted.

sun beaming down. windy. sunny. warm. nice. noisy. noisy cars. noisy trucks. noisy kids. noisy planes. noisy dogs and a tired and sore hand.

busy mind today.

still cannot do my daily tasks.

good at exercise but not good at structure.

read and write.

read and write.

read and write.

act.

direct.

what sets me on fire?

do what sets me on fire but i no longer know what that is.

do’s and don’ts of life.

spelling errors.

grammar errors.

time wasters.

talkers with nothing to say.

boring dull factory workers who hate their jobs.

why do it if you hate it?

buried all alone and mostly forgotten. my bum is still wet. wet couch. too lazy to get up.

comfortable.

HUMAN CONNECTION.

HUMAN CONNECTION.

HUMAN CONNECTION.

ALL I WANT IS HUMAN CONNECTION.

LOVE AND LOSS AND GRATITUDE AND GRACE.

my bum is getting wetter and wetter.

how many people care about life?

how many people care about money?

how many people choose money over human connection?

i ran over a squirrel yesterday and killed him. killed her. sad. felt awful. that squirrel had a mom and a dad. i wonder if the parents are looking for their baby?

human loss.

human suffering.

dying animals.

dying plants.

dying dogs.

dying purpose.

what to do?

PURPOSEFUL ART.

walk with bob.

finished my first week run as art director on some shitty feature film. lots of money. zero art. zero passion. rudderless and chaotic. insanely dull and meaningless. lots of nice people but no fire. no vision. no substance. no art. one of many productions like this. the industry is filled with boring people making boring movies. movies that offer nothing unique. nothing interesting. nothing passionate. rule followers and pencil pushers. ART? NO. smiling faces and stressful faces. serious faces. dull faces. plastic faces with plastic hearts and empty souls.

what has happened to our world?

where have all the good films gone?

where are the real people?

where are the real jobs?

who are the real leaders?

what are they doing for you?

rising inflation.

rising food costs.

rising house prices.

rising gas prices.

stagnant wages.

lost jobs.

lost careers.

lost friends.

lost people.

lost lives.

lost confidence.

lost energy.

lost hope.

when hope fades, lives fade.

tangle or dangle the carrot.

let people try to catch it and then pull it away fast.

make quality product.

make quality art.

tell powerful stories.

authentic.

my hand hurts. old age becoming a sad reality.

DO.

MOVE.

JUMP.

DIVE IN.

ALLOW AND LET GO.

ARTIST.

PASSION.

STORIES THAT MATTER.