notanotherphony.

too much drinking. too much shitty food. too much coffee. not enough sleep. this is not the way to be focused and productive BUT i will fight through the lethargy and i will fight through the fears. i will also fight through the angst and the bloated belly.

constantly feeling like i need to take a shit.

slow down and breathe.

relax and listen.

take a deep breath and feel a sense of gratitude. gratitude for life. gratitude for health. gratitude for a wonderful wife and a beautiful daughter. a great dog too.

embrace their love.

embrace their hearts.

we have a wonderful family when we connect and listen and love and respect.

i am tired.

always tired but always wired and always moving.

SLOW DOWN!!!!!!!!!

time to plan.

time to move.

time to get ready.

time to clean up.

time to shit.

time to pack.

time to exit.

i never want to leave and I always want to leave.

busy mind. busy body.

run.

meditate.

read.

run.

meditate.

read.

RUN.

MEDITATE.

READ.

allow and surrender to life.

i will write later.

i have to go.

I MISS RYLEE.

I MISS TRIGGY.

I MISS MURPHY.

LOVE. ALWAYS LOVE.

FAMILY.

MOM.

woke up groggy. thought it was monday. a lot of wine and a lot of junk food last night. my mind is a little foggy. my body tired. this won’t last.

“this too shall pass.”

screaming kids and loud cars will not get me down today. i have a free day from the family, including murphy, so it’s a GET SHIT DONE DAY. cannot waste the day away with needless conversations and needless traffic. needless shows and needless learning of lines.

run in the great outdoors.

run on the trails.

run in nature.

long runs but slow.

slow and steady.

focused and deliberate. deliberately focused.

i will miss my family when they are gone. i always do. we never really do much together but when we are apart we all miss each other. strange. or maybe it’s not strange. we love each other but also get on each other’s nerves.

FAMILY.

i have a bloated stomach. my fault. myself to blame. why? i have eaten too much junk food lately. i have drank too much wine. choices in life. we all have choices. a man is hacking up a lung behind me. probably a smoker. unhealthy. many unhealthy people eating unhealthy foods and watching unhealthy content on tv. unhealthy lifestyles lead to unhealthy lives. then you die. buried all alone under some dirt and forgotten soon after.

today could be the last day of my life.

today could be the last day of your life.

last breath.

sadness sets in.

i still feel bloated.

sad.

bloated.

excited.

the “coughing man” still coughing. still unhealthy. still unaware.

did i take my concerta today? i grabbed the bottle but then forgot if i, actually, took my meds. i think i did. maybe i didn’t. not sure. unsure.

ACCEPT.

ALWAYS ACCEPT..

LIFE.

another fabulous day on set yesterday. disney movie but a disney movie with lots of special needs kids and that created an amazing environment. lots of smiles. lots of laughs. a great energy. a great environment. listening more than talking. cerebral palsy and autism. kids are soooo innocent. sooooo honest. sooooo refreshing. there are so many great people in the world. i need to…i want to surround myself with positive vibes and positive energy. positive people. positive human beings. human emotions. vulnerability. humanity at it’s finest. old volkswagon bugs and then i hear loud bikes and loud people. the ying and yang of society. lots of love. lots of hate. lots of positivity. lots of negativity. lots of people. lots of opportunities. lots of successes. lots of failures. lots of life but not lot’s left.

I NEVER WANT TO DIE.

FEBRUARY 17, 1978.

SEPTEMBER 24, 2005.

LOVE.

great day on set yesterday. met many great people. told stories. laughs. more stories. vulnerability. looking at the spectacle and, instead of getting angry and getting frustrated, I laughed. too many directors. too many producers. too many clients. too many opinions. just a job for so many. but for many others it’s a community. garbage product that makes money but also spends money to make that money. stop judging. what do I want?

ART.

ART.

ART.

HUMAN CONNECTION.

know my worth.

do it my way.

find a way.

adjust and find a way.

if the desire is there you will find a way.

SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE AND SUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENTS.

FIND THEM.

STAY COMMITTED TO THE TRUTH.

LOVE.

PLAY.

HAVE FUN.

EAT WELL.

DRINK WELL.

CONNECT AND LISTEN.

EXERCISE.

STORIES.

STORIES.

STORIES.

EMOTIONS.

EMOTIONS.

EMOTIONS.

i want to feel everything. the joy. the sorrow. the laughs. the cries.

take in life.

one life to live.

woke up a little tired.

a little headache.

BUT I AM GOOD.

LIFE IS GOOD. is it?

BE GRATEFUL.

ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL.

PASSION.

GRATITUDE.

PERSEVERANCE.

WHAT DO I WANT?

GO AND GET IT.

GO AND DO IT.

MAKE A PLAN.

DAVID AND GOLIATH.

how underdogs can fight the giants.

JUST DO IT. (how ironic).