chicken or go.

i am so sick of rich entitled cunts (men) being in charge of our businesses. being in charge of our families. being in charge of our countries. running the world into chaos and confusion. confusion and then oblivion. living lavish lives at the expense of the lower class. making deals. swinging deals. trading. speculating. masturbating. fornicating. fucking and phony. phony and fucking. wars and murders and chaos and extreme poverty and more wars and more rapes. torture and lies. lies and torture. leaders?

but many people revere these maggots. bow down to these maggots. look up to these maggots. rich rodents with fake white teeth and fake pompous accents. these maggots have done nothing to improve the world. lavish vacations and lavish dinners. lavish yet dull. dull and depressing.

how boring is kevin o’leary?

how boring is jordan petersen?

how boring is pierre poillievre?

bonnie crombie too.

ford is not boring just not smart. easily bought. fake white teeth. but no other viable options leads to the same old same old status quo.

is there anybody out there?

REVOLUTION.

REVOLUTION.

REVOLUTION.

STOP PUTTING THESE MAGGOTS ON PEDESTALS.

finally got a good sleep last night.

2 bottles of wine.

2 beers.

2 bowls of cereal.

2 sleeping pills.

what a concoction.

what a sleep.

i may not be able to sustain that bedtime routine but it worked for now.

for now it will do.

a big monday on my plate today.

  1. psychotherapist appt.
  2. walk my dog.
  3. meditate/stretch.
  4. clean house.
  5. mail two boxes.
  6. read.
  7. write.
  8. do the dishes.
  9. gym.
  10. walk the dog again.
  11. look for a job.
  12. audition for some shitty movie.
  13. sleep.

my daily lists and daily activities and chores are dull. dull and boring and routine and uninspiring.

my life is uninspiring at the moment.

CHANGE.

CHANGE.

CHANGE.

SMALL STEPS.

NO TIME.

TIME WINDING DOWN.

BODY FALLING APART.

MIND FOGGY.

CONFIDENCE DRAINED.

CHANGE.

CHANGES.

JERK OFF?

MAYBE.

SHITTY MOVIES AND SHITTY SHOWS?

YES.

DO YOU WANNA FIGHT?

CHICKEN OR GO?

GO.

GO.

GO.

WHAT?

WHY STOP THERE?

TEASE.

TEASE.

TEASE.

chicken?

NO GO!!!

DRUGS.

coughing.

coughing.

coughing.

my cough leaves for a few days and then it returns with a bang.

it is dull and gloomy outside and my nose is itchy.

my house is cold and my tired dog lays beside me.

novels and self help books are scattered on the floor beside my bed and i have started a new adhd medication (again).

there are those who think adhd is “made up” or a fabricated illness. i beg to differ.

at night i conjure up all kinds of brilliant ways to improve my lot in life. all kinds of ways to improve the world. all kinds of ways to save the world. in the morning i wake up tired and my mind is restless. i decide that cleaning the house and doing the dishes is more important than saving my family. saving myself. saving the world. the cycle will continue tonight. i make daily lists. i write out daily goals. i have daily spurts of creativity and then BOOM. I accomplish nothing.

in fact there wasn’t even a BOOM.

only a quiet murmur.

my head is now foggy.

is that the result of the new meds?

side effects already?

i need to go to the gym.

my belly has become fat due to my damaged knee.

damaged knee.

hacking cough.

dizzy mind.

too much coffee and not enough human interaction.

donald trump was the president of the united states. he can’t spell and has little heart and zero soul. he is soon to be president again. he is also a criminal.

rob ford was the leader of our city. he was overweight. drugged out. dumb. sloppy and immoral. he was also a criminal.

trudeau.

biden.

doug ford.

pierre poillievre.

netanyahu.

on and on the list goes. the list grows.

criminals leading our world.

terrible leaders.

terrible people.

terrible hearts.

zero souls.

miniature sized brains.

old.

lazy.

sloppy.

OVERWEIGHT PIGS.

these are the people who we vote in to lead us.

where are they leading us to?

i am now tired.

DRUGS.

DRUGS.

DRUGS.

SENSELESS.

genocide in gaza.

senseless killings.

senseless wars.

senseless leaders.

senseless propaganda.

you say anything against israel and you are labelled an anti-semite.

you say anything against black people and you are labelled racist.

you say anything against women and you are labelled mysoginistic.

propaganda machines working overtime in the us and israel. more propaganda here than in russia.

sickening greed.

sickening leaders.

sickening people.

smart, passionate, intellectual professors from israel telling us that the idf are committing atrocities and horrific acts of genocide on the palestinian people in gaza and they are labelled crazy and anti-semitic.

PROPAGANDA.

PROPAGANDA.

PROPAGANDA.

we are sheep being lead by heartless farmers.

SICK DEMENTED LEADERS LEADING SICK DEMENTED PEOPLE.

LEARN THE TRUTH BUT THE TRUTH DOESN’T WANT TO BE LEARNED.

the holocaust was horrific but that happened eighty years ago.

MOVE ON BUT DO NOT FORGET.

there have been many other genocides against helpless people since then. nobody talks about the other ones. they are all alone in their fight.

MEDIA DRIVEN AGENDA’S AND PROPAGANDA.

I HATE LIES.

I HATE PHONINESS.

I HATE OUR LEADERS.

i just had knee surgery and can’t work for four to six weeks.

I AM BROKE. HELP!!!???

amen.

woke up at 6am. had a coffee. had a shit. a little small talk with my wife. kissed her and then kissed my dog and left the house for another 12 hr grind. cutting grass and raking leaves. cold wet leaves. lawns filled with dog shit and shitty toys. shitty broken down trampolines and shitty broken down hockey nets. suburban living at it’s finest where every house looks exactly the same. a nice shade of dull brown as it’s base. nothing to stand out from the crowd. rows and rows of jail cells filled with rows and rows of broken down prisoners. as i was passing my fourth prison cell two old ladies with old boring clothes passed me on the sidewalk. i smiled. they smiled back. one had two missing teeth and a look of fear in her eyes. the other just a look of extreme struggle. the missing toothed woman handed me a pamphlet. an old cheap pamphlet with some message from god. i, politely, took it and, politely, threw it in the garbage. i wondered how these two ladies became door to door salesmen for the church. i wondered why these salesmen are always old, lost, depressing looking women.

do they believe in god?

really?

they were old.

they were sad looking.

they were lonely looking.

but they were also two cute old ladies walking down the sidewalk with a purpose of some sort and, that alone, brought a smile to my face.

we finished cutting the grass of one row of shit stained houses and then drove over to the next SUBURBAN TOWN.

same town.

same houses.

same colours on the houses.

same shit in the backyards.

most of the people living in these shitty houses smoked.

most drank shitty beer.

most were overweight.

looked haggard.

beaten down.

looked liken they had long ago given up on life.

some had big expensive trucks in their tiny driveways.

we pulled out our lawnmowers and started cutting grass. trimming the edges. picking up leaves. more shit. big shit. more shit. lots of shit.

the suburbs and it’s prisoners love dogs.

love coors light.

love smoking.

hate trudeau.

hate picking up dog shit.

and many love their weed.

we cut the front lawns. cut the back.

i saw a posting for a missing cat. i lost two cats when i was a kid. both were named DUSTY. one day they just disappeared. two cats. two different times. never found them. never knew what happened to them. they were with us for years and then they just disappeared. not sure why we chose to name both cats DUSTY. odd.

we finished cutting the remaining houses on the boring strip and went to our next row of boring houses twenty minutes away.

same houses.

same streets.

same trucks.

same mess.

same kids.

same dogs.

same lives.

so depressing.

so dull.

so sad.

we pulled our lawnmowers off the truck and did our same routine.

cut.

trim.

blow.

pick up leaves.

step in dog shit.

we had a few chats with a few neighbours. the weirdo at one end of the complex who had a cane corso/pit bull mixed dog. no job. hot beaten down wife who hated that she settled for “him.” the “FUCK TRUDEAU GUY.” at first i thought that he was a buffoon but, after talking with him for twenty minutes, i changed my mind. good guy. good energy. funny. respectful. him and his neighbour DO NOT get along. they put rope up between their houses instead of a wooden fence. money an issue. but they don’t talk. the one guy has two large marijuana plants in his backyard but the “FUCK TRUDEAU” guy says that his weed is shitty. hahahaha

people always competing.

always barking.

always judging.

always fighting.

always struggling.

always working.

always hoping.

hoping for a better life and a better future while laying on the couch watching the kardashians.

we left the suburban town.

we left the broken down homes with the broken down people. the shit filled backyards.

we drove an hour south to get to my shitty suburban town. i made it home. let my dog out for a shit. didn’t pick it up. opened up a bottle of bourbon and drank my sorrows away.

tomorrow will be a new day.

god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change. the courage to change the things i can. and the wisdom to know the difference.

amen.

CHAOS FOR PROFIT.

sore feet.

sore back.

sore shoulders.

sore hands.

sore arms.

getting old is not pleasant.

lost dreams.

lost hopes.

lost love.

lost purpose.

going to work everyday for 12 hrs but seeing my bank account dwindle and dwindle and dwindle.

no trips.

no house.

no fun.

can’t afford physio on my sore feet.

can’t afford new shoes.

can’t afford medications.

humanity is lessening while greed and power are at record highs.

WAR. WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

when will we all realize that our governments are corrupt? our governments are evil. our governments bring us war. bring us rising costs. bring us rising taxes. bring us rising poverty. little children in big offices. dumb. bombastic. greedy. liars. frauds. fakes.

USELESS.

USELESS.

USELESS.

WHY ARE THERE WARS?

CONSTANT WARS.

CONSTANT DEATHS.

CIVILIAN DEATHS.

CIVILIAN TORTURE.

TORTURE AND RAPE.

WHERE IS THE HUMANITY?

most human beings i meet are loving and friendly and happy or hopeful or honest or vulnerable.

human beings from all walks of life. different countries. different genders. different views. BUT HUMAN. HUMAN BEINGS.

OUR LEADERS CREATE HATE.

OUR LEADERS CREATE DIVISIVENESS.

OUR LEADERS CREATE CHAOS.

CHAOS FOR PROFIT.

STOP LISTENING TO THEM!!!

#LOVE.