be a shit disturber.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

terrible sleep. murphy restless. whining. all night movement. all night crying. all night panting. up on the bed. off of the bed. up. off. let him outside four or five times. still whining in the morning. i knew it was a bad idea to leave him alone for six hours while we visited my mom. i allowed others to make the decisions and like most other family decisions it was the WRONG ONE.

LISTEN TO MY GUT.

LISTEN TO ME.

TRUST ME.

I am too tired to write.

too tired to think.

stay focused.

stay sharp.

INSPIRE MY WAY.

LEAD MY WAY.

BE ON FIRE.

COMMIT.

DO.

GET SHIT DONE.

OR DON’T GET SHIT DONE.

BE A SHIT DISTURBER.

good dinner with my mom yesterday. she doesn’t listen and loves attention from others but she means well and is happy that family are with her. she loves Taylor so much and only wants love or attention back. sad seeing people you love slowly starting to die. someone i’ve known my WHOLE LIFE and they will be gone soon and never to see them again. so sad. so weird. so random.

random thoughts.

sad feelings.

she’s not lived a fabulous life but she has made the most of it and has temporary happiness and temporary healthiness.

HAPPY 85TH BIRTHDAY MOM.

LOVE YOU.

what are you waiting for?

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

awake. alive. ready to write. ready to play. ready to fight. ready to mate. ready to create. create with zero limitations and zero censorship. continue to write. continue to learn. continue to grow. continue to connect. connections and connecting are my biggest assets although that asset seems to be less and less important these days. i am creative and i am a great connector. i am great at reading people. great at listening. great at inspiring. great energy and a great artistic heart. artistic soul. murphy at home waiting for me. i need to shit and i need to run. it is hot and muggy or rather cool and muggy. cool and muggy is a shitty combination.

where do i want to live?

where do i want to travel to?

where does my daughter want to live?

where does my daughter want to go to school?

Sarah?

thoughts?

ideas?

daily writing.

daily creating.

daily connecting.

C’MON JACK!!!!!

WAKE UP AND DO IT!!!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

WORK AND CREATE.

WORK AND CREATE.

WORK AND CREATE.

POET.

POETRY.

OPEN HEART AND OPEN SOUL.

let it flow.

wrinkled.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

first full week of work. chaos and uncertainty to begin with and then, slowly, found my feet. found my position. found my strengths. slow down and come up with a game plan. use the resources we have. be clear. be direct. WORK. GET SHIT DONE. LET’S DO THIS!!!

this creative job has re-sparked my interest in film. interest in storytelling. interest in writing. interest in directing. lessened my interest in acting. acting slows me down and stifles my energy.

blogs.

vlogs.

films.

youtube poetry readings.

real stories.

real people.

real emotions.

restless and real.

not dull and phony.

notanotherphony.

JACK TAIT.

MAN ON NO MISSION.

OR A MISSION OF NOTHINGNESS.

NOTHING IN LIFE.

NOTHING IN DEATH.

create.

creator.

create.

ART THAT MATTERS.

head foggy.

getting used to it.

mind edgy.

body restless.

foggy eyes.

bald head.

wrinkled hands and hairy knuckles.

hairy chest and a hairy dog.

wrinkled legs and wrinkled clothes.

wrinkled mind.

wrinkled soul.

wrinkled heart.

wrinkled life.

life at it’s worst can quickly change to life at it’s best.

and then BOOM.

at it’s worst once again.

be alert for snakes.

don’t believe the hype.

don’t listen to the facade.

fake talkers with fake confidence and fake abilities with fake money.

FUCK THE FUCKS AND FUCK THE FAKES.

confidently anxious.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

girls. girls. girls. first day of work over. excited. potential is endless. confidence and self esteem still causing me issues. what has happened to me? was i always this anxious in certain situations? did i mask it with booze and drugs? i drive myself crazy. i drive others crazy. outgoing and seemingly confident one moment. nervous and angst ridden the next. how did this happen? how do i change this?

write my story.

direct my story.

tell my story.

DIRECTOR.

I AM A DIRECTOR.

DIRECTOR AND WRITER.

WRITER.

PRODUCER.

INSPIRE.

make the most of my skillset.

be sad.

be happy.

be alive.

WRITE. CREATE. PRODUCE.

MAKE THE MOST OUT OF MY LIFE.

BE BIG AND BOLD.

real people.

real stories.

real emotions.

three day hangovers and lost confidence.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

Mom’s birthday yesterday. she visited friend’s in unionville. i stayed here in orangeville. tending to a dog. always tending to a dog. mom another year closer to death but still thinking that she’ll live forever. me unable to move. unable to decide. unable to make decisions. unable to focus. unable to love. unable to commit. unable to make a living. distractions everywhere. time racing. hot. clammy. three day hangovers and lost confidence. lost hair. lost youth. lost Dad. lost girlfriends and lost jobs. lost cats and LOST HOPE.

tomorrow will be a new day. first day as a crew member on a film set. constantly searching for something to bring me excitement. something to give me purpose. something to provide meaning to my life.

meaning and money.

money and clarity.

the government always after me for money but providing no hope. no plans. no help. rich getting richer. the poor getting poorer. slow down mind!!!

STOP BARKING MURPHY!!!

i need to go for a run.

i need to exercise.

i need to sweat.

WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE???

LIFE.

tell my story.

tell my story…my way.

real stories.

real people.

real emotions.

notanotherphony.