Tag: poetry

drug dealers and hoes.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

great sleep. long drive to work. great day in a sleazy city that is home to many drunks. many skunks. many crackheads. whores. pimps. drug dealers and hoes. no beaches. no toes. moes. slows. throws. rows. toes. toes. already said toes. BOZ. BOZ. BOZOS AND HOPES. HOPS? hoppy beer and sweaty balls. great work day or am i fooling myself? nails too long. stomach grumbling. wife snoring. always snoring. always grumbling. unhappy but refuses to admit it. am i unhappy too? how to thrive in a shitty town? dull. boring. far away. far away from excitement. far away from life. life and death and then we die. some die young and alive. many die old and dead. deadly living and living deadly. dull. dopey. monotonous. slow. lacking uniqueness. lacking heart. lacking soul.

FUCK THEM.

never believe the hype. the loud ones are always the dull ones. the wrong people have reality shows. dull lives that they feel are exciting. useless and hairy. harry carey. carey hewson. carson fife. steve vine. vino. red over white but i’ll drink anything. drinking is more exciting than NOT drinking. drinking and driving. driving and blowing. blowing and falling. falling down drunk and alone. alone and desperate. desperate and alone. sad. rundown buildings in exciting rundown cities. rich cities with dull people. fake. fake suits. fake cars. fake money. fake lives. twenty minutes until take off. i almost felt like driving my car off the road today. drive my car into a ditch and see what happens.

NO WAY OUT!!!

who likes this town?

NICE?

DULL?

SHIT?

BORING?

free coffee.

starbucks always hire cute girls.

friendly.

alive.

bubbly.

not dead.

ALIVE AND KICKING.

what are you waiting for?

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awake. alive. ready to write. ready to play. ready to fight. ready to mate. ready to create. create with zero limitations and zero censorship. continue to write. continue to learn. continue to grow. continue to connect. connections and connecting are my biggest assets although that asset seems to be less and less important these days. i am creative and i am a great connector. i am great at reading people. great at listening. great at inspiring. great energy and a great artistic heart. artistic soul. murphy at home waiting for me. i need to shit and i need to run. it is hot and muggy or rather cool and muggy. cool and muggy is a shitty combination.

where do i want to live?

where do i want to travel to?

where does my daughter want to live?

where does my daughter want to go to school?

Sarah?

thoughts?

ideas?

daily writing.

daily creating.

daily connecting.

C’MON JACK!!!!!

WAKE UP AND DO IT!!!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

WORK AND CREATE.

WORK AND CREATE.

WORK AND CREATE.

POET.

POETRY.

OPEN HEART AND OPEN SOUL.

let it flow.

wrinkled.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

first full week of work. chaos and uncertainty to begin with and then, slowly, found my feet. found my position. found my strengths. slow down and come up with a game plan. use the resources we have. be clear. be direct. WORK. GET SHIT DONE. LET’S DO THIS!!!

this creative job has re-sparked my interest in film. interest in storytelling. interest in writing. interest in directing. lessened my interest in acting. acting slows me down and stifles my energy.

blogs.

vlogs.

films.

youtube poetry readings.

real stories.

real people.

real emotions.

restless and real.

not dull and phony.

notanotherphony.

JACK TAIT.

MAN ON NO MISSION.

OR A MISSION OF NOTHINGNESS.

NOTHING IN LIFE.

NOTHING IN DEATH.

create.

creator.

create.

ART THAT MATTERS.

head foggy.

getting used to it.

mind edgy.

body restless.

foggy eyes.

bald head.

wrinkled hands and hairy knuckles.

hairy chest and a hairy dog.

wrinkled legs and wrinkled clothes.

wrinkled mind.

wrinkled soul.

wrinkled heart.

wrinkled life.

life at it’s worst can quickly change to life at it’s best.

and then BOOM.

at it’s worst once again.

be alert for snakes.

don’t believe the hype.

don’t listen to the facade.

fake talkers with fake confidence and fake abilities with fake money.

FUCK THE FUCKS AND FUCK THE FAKES.

three day hangovers and lost confidence.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

Mom’s birthday yesterday. she visited friend’s in unionville. i stayed here in orangeville. tending to a dog. always tending to a dog. mom another year closer to death but still thinking that she’ll live forever. me unable to move. unable to decide. unable to make decisions. unable to focus. unable to love. unable to commit. unable to make a living. distractions everywhere. time racing. hot. clammy. three day hangovers and lost confidence. lost hair. lost youth. lost Dad. lost girlfriends and lost jobs. lost cats and LOST HOPE.

tomorrow will be a new day. first day as a crew member on a film set. constantly searching for something to bring me excitement. something to give me purpose. something to provide meaning to my life.

meaning and money.

money and clarity.

the government always after me for money but providing no hope. no plans. no help. rich getting richer. the poor getting poorer. slow down mind!!!

STOP BARKING MURPHY!!!

i need to go for a run.

i need to exercise.

i need to sweat.

WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE???

LIFE.

tell my story.

tell my story…my way.

real stories.

real people.

real emotions.

notanotherphony.

dogs live such short lives.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

woke up at 5:30am. had two coffees. one shit. one conversation with my wife. one with my dog. psychiatrist appt in 10 minutes. got paid. so did my wife. bank account getting smaller as i work longer. work harder. doing the opposite of “living the dream”. at least i’m not dead. at least i’m not in jail. at least i have two legs and a big heart.

my dog lays comfortably beside me.

calm.

relaxed.

content.

it will be a sad day when he is no longer with us or when he gets old and becomes less mobile. less energetic.

seeing people get old saddens me.

seeing my dog get old saddens me too.

dogs live such short lives.

they are so loyal.

so loving.

so caring.

so intuitive.

so kind.

this is all “to be continued” as i have to log onto my computer for my psychotherapist appointment and get ready to spill my guts again. open up again. hopefully, get help again.

I NEED MONEY.

I NEED FUN.

I NEED JOY.

I NEED PEOPLE.

I NEED LOVE.

appointment over.

work day over.

murphy’s daycare over.

laying in bed learning lines…AGAIN.

always learning lines for roles that i don’t get.

sounds silly.

sounds wasteful.

sounds insane.

insane.

wasteful.

silly.

DONE.

A MAN’S WORK IS NEVER DONE.

I AM DONE.

I AM TIRED.

I AM SORE.

SORE ARMS.

SORE LEGS.

SORE NOSE.

SORE KNEES.

SORE EGO.

SORE LIFE.

the only time that i am happy is when i am engaged with people.

engaged in great conversation.

or great sex (this never happens).

or great debates.

or drunken debaucheries (the good old days).

wrist and hands now sore.

sore throat?

sore mind?

SORE LOSER???!!!

TIRED.

TIRED.

TIRED.

LOVE LIFE.

LOVE AND LIVE.

OR DON’T LOVE AND DIE ALONE AND UNHAPPY.

“THE GUILT WILL SUCK YOU DOWN.”