Tag: writing

CHAOS FOR PROFIT.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

sore feet.

sore back.

sore shoulders.

sore hands.

sore arms.

getting old is not pleasant.

lost dreams.

lost hopes.

lost love.

lost purpose.

going to work everyday for 12 hrs but seeing my bank account dwindle and dwindle and dwindle.

no trips.

no house.

no fun.

can’t afford physio on my sore feet.

can’t afford new shoes.

can’t afford medications.

humanity is lessening while greed and power are at record highs.

WAR. WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

when will we all realize that our governments are corrupt? our governments are evil. our governments bring us war. bring us rising costs. bring us rising taxes. bring us rising poverty. little children in big offices. dumb. bombastic. greedy. liars. frauds. fakes.

USELESS.

USELESS.

USELESS.

WHY ARE THERE WARS?

CONSTANT WARS.

CONSTANT DEATHS.

CIVILIAN DEATHS.

CIVILIAN TORTURE.

TORTURE AND RAPE.

WHERE IS THE HUMANITY?

most human beings i meet are loving and friendly and happy or hopeful or honest or vulnerable.

human beings from all walks of life. different countries. different genders. different views. BUT HUMAN. HUMAN BEINGS.

OUR LEADERS CREATE HATE.

OUR LEADERS CREATE DIVISIVENESS.

OUR LEADERS CREATE CHAOS.

CHAOS FOR PROFIT.

STOP LISTENING TO THEM!!!

#LOVE.

what are you waiting for?

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

awake. alive. ready to write. ready to play. ready to fight. ready to mate. ready to create. create with zero limitations and zero censorship. continue to write. continue to learn. continue to grow. continue to connect. connections and connecting are my biggest assets although that asset seems to be less and less important these days. i am creative and i am a great connector. i am great at reading people. great at listening. great at inspiring. great energy and a great artistic heart. artistic soul. murphy at home waiting for me. i need to shit and i need to run. it is hot and muggy or rather cool and muggy. cool and muggy is a shitty combination.

where do i want to live?

where do i want to travel to?

where does my daughter want to live?

where does my daughter want to go to school?

Sarah?

thoughts?

ideas?

daily writing.

daily creating.

daily connecting.

C’MON JACK!!!!!

WAKE UP AND DO IT!!!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

WORK AND CREATE.

WORK AND CREATE.

WORK AND CREATE.

POET.

POETRY.

OPEN HEART AND OPEN SOUL.

let it flow.

three day hangovers and lost confidence.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

Mom’s birthday yesterday. she visited friend’s in unionville. i stayed here in orangeville. tending to a dog. always tending to a dog. mom another year closer to death but still thinking that she’ll live forever. me unable to move. unable to decide. unable to make decisions. unable to focus. unable to love. unable to commit. unable to make a living. distractions everywhere. time racing. hot. clammy. three day hangovers and lost confidence. lost hair. lost youth. lost Dad. lost girlfriends and lost jobs. lost cats and LOST HOPE.

tomorrow will be a new day. first day as a crew member on a film set. constantly searching for something to bring me excitement. something to give me purpose. something to provide meaning to my life.

meaning and money.

money and clarity.

the government always after me for money but providing no hope. no plans. no help. rich getting richer. the poor getting poorer. slow down mind!!!

STOP BARKING MURPHY!!!

i need to go for a run.

i need to exercise.

i need to sweat.

WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE???

LIFE.

tell my story.

tell my story…my way.

real stories.

real people.

real emotions.

notanotherphony.

dogs live such short lives.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

woke up at 5:30am. had two coffees. one shit. one conversation with my wife. one with my dog. psychiatrist appt in 10 minutes. got paid. so did my wife. bank account getting smaller as i work longer. work harder. doing the opposite of “living the dream”. at least i’m not dead. at least i’m not in jail. at least i have two legs and a big heart.

my dog lays comfortably beside me.

calm.

relaxed.

content.

it will be a sad day when he is no longer with us or when he gets old and becomes less mobile. less energetic.

seeing people get old saddens me.

seeing my dog get old saddens me too.

dogs live such short lives.

they are so loyal.

so loving.

so caring.

so intuitive.

so kind.

this is all “to be continued” as i have to log onto my computer for my psychotherapist appointment and get ready to spill my guts again. open up again. hopefully, get help again.

I NEED MONEY.

I NEED FUN.

I NEED JOY.

I NEED PEOPLE.

I NEED LOVE.

appointment over.

work day over.

murphy’s daycare over.

laying in bed learning lines…AGAIN.

always learning lines for roles that i don’t get.

sounds silly.

sounds wasteful.

sounds insane.

insane.

wasteful.

silly.

DONE.

A MAN’S WORK IS NEVER DONE.

I AM DONE.

I AM TIRED.

I AM SORE.

SORE ARMS.

SORE LEGS.

SORE NOSE.

SORE KNEES.

SORE EGO.

SORE LIFE.

the only time that i am happy is when i am engaged with people.

engaged in great conversation.

or great sex (this never happens).

or great debates.

or drunken debaucheries (the good old days).

wrist and hands now sore.

sore throat?

sore mind?

SORE LOSER???!!!

TIRED.

TIRED.

TIRED.

LOVE LIFE.

LOVE AND LIVE.

OR DON’T LOVE AND DIE ALONE AND UNHAPPY.

“THE GUILT WILL SUCK YOU DOWN.”

ZERO.

notanotherphonyLeave a comment

cold. dreary. cloudy. perfect day. letting out stinky farts. purple tongue. cute girls at starbucks. always cute girls at starbucks. need a shit. too much wine AGAIN. too much food. too much wine and too much food leads to foggy mornings and less drive. less fire. less purpose.

crazy dreams for the last three nights. flabby belly. crazy dreams. i had a dream last night that i was fucking some random woman in some random skateboard shop. we were fucking while the employees watched.

“I KNEW YOU WERE BALD. THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS WHERE THAT HAT,” the fat old woman said to me.

i am getting old.

i am getting bored.

does life start taking a turn for the worse soon?

getting old is tough. trying to hang onto relevance. trying to hang onto HOPE.

getting older.

daughter is growing up way too fast. she is leaving soon to explore her life. where have all the years gone? living too much in the present and with zero planning for the future.

zero planning.

zero future?

zero money.

zero job.

zero confidence.

zero houses.

zero trips.

zero fucks.

zero parties.

ZERO.

ZERO.

ZERO.

i love the excitement of youth.

youthful girls.

youthful boys.

a whole life ahead of them.

planning where to go to school.

planning their careers.

planning life.

city living?

country living?

canada?

west coast?

east coast?

europe?

us?

planning.

I NEED TO MAKE A PLAN AND STICK TO IT.

I HAVE, STILL, YET TO SET A SINGLE GOAL.

this is why i sit alone on a shitty patio in a shitty parking lot in a shitty town.

i crave chaos.

i crave excitement.

i crave interesting talks with interesting people.

WHAT BROUGHT ME HERE?

WHY AM I HERE?

HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?

SET A FUCKING GOAL!!!

DO IT.

DO IT.

DO IT.

february 17, 1978.

september 24, 2005.

real people.

real stories.

real emotion.